Mr. Glascott: I can't take this anymore. You want your kids in, they're in.
Pops: Oh, great! Which one?
Mr. Glascott: I don't know! Both of them? None of them? I really don't care! I mean, it's a stupid freakin' high school talent show! I had one moment of weakness where I tried to do something kind for your son. I apologize! All I care about now is that I owe 20 grand in student loans, I live in a studio apartment above a steaming hot dry cleaner, and I have a second job where I work as a pizza man, and occasionally I get to deliver pizzas to my students. Oh, also I have a parrot that I can't get rid of. They live for 80 years. Did you know that? Nobody tells you about that. You have to put them in your will! It's a nightmare! So, yeah, do whatever you wanna do, 'cause I really don't care!

Barry: I can't go out there!
Adam: What?!
Barry: I can't do it! Dad was right. I'm gonna humiliate myself. They're gonna throw peaches at me!
Adam: Peaches? Who has peaches? What are you talking about?

Barry: Well, I got news for you. The audience won't throw peaches. They'll throw flowers. And cheers! And boobs! Naked boobs! Everywhere! Just you watch. Watch! Boobs! Naked!