Beverly Quote #1095

Quote from Beverly in The Beverly Goldberg Cookbook: Part 2

Beverly: I cooked you in my lady kitchen. You were my greatest dish, and this is how you treat me?
Adam: I wasn't really thinking about your lady kitchen when I was reading your lousy book.
Beverly: [gasps] Gasp of gasps! I have clearly failed as a mother!
Adam: And as a cookbook author.
Beverly: I just want you to know that what you have done to me is worse than any horse stomp. Because I still have eyes to see how my beautiful boy betrayed me.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] She hated the sandwich, so I tried one more slice of bread.
Adam: But... you did it, girl?


Features in the collection: Beverly Goldberg: I Have Failed as a Mother.

‘Beverly Goldberg: I Have Failed as a Mother’

Quote from Beverly in The Age of Darkness

Beverly: Sweetie, you have to eat.
Erica: Food reminds me of Drew. He used to eat food.
Beverly: Baby, if you don't eat, then I have failed as a mother.

Quote from Beverly in A Wrestler Named Goldberg

Barry: Mom? Are you kidding me right now? Move.
Beverly: I will not move. I will never move. You're my special boy. If you end up being just a head, then I have failed as a mother.

 ‘The Beverly Goldberg Cookbook: Part 2’ Quotes

Quote from Beverly

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, America got in shape, and that meant getting fit and eating right. So every chef started becoming health-conscious, except Chef Beverly Goldberg.
Beverly: For my growing schmoopaloo, my famous lasagna burger bomb.
Adam: Wow! I can't believe no one's ever thought to use lasagna as a bun before.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] She was always inventing new caloric cuisine.
Beverly: For Pops, my triple-meat ziti surprise.
Pops: And the surprise is, the lamb really brings out the beef and chicken.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] But that was nothing compared to what she made my dad.
Beverly: And for my handsome man of the house, salad made just the way you like it... A deli tray of cold cuts and cheeses, zero veggies, served in a bowl of buttermilk ranch.
Murray: You see? Salads don't have to be boring.
Adam: That is, by definition, not a salad. Words have meaning!

Quote from Erica

Erica: Cheggit. My mom sent me one of her famous honey salt pies.
Geoff: Ooh, smells delish. Let me rip into a slice.
Erica: It's funny that you say "rip," because this recipe actually comes from my great-great-uncle Harold. Every limb of his body was ripped off by an amateur circus bear.
Geoff: Oh, my God, what?
Erica: Yeah, but don't worry. The bear didn't kill him. He just left him as a stump and a head.
Geoff: And that's good?
Erica: Well, not for what comes next. He was on top of a hill, and lost control of his crude homemade body wagon, and he was thrown 100 feet into a nearby river, and bobbed for six miles. Luckily, another bear came and finished him off.
Geoff: Two bears? That's the most horrible thing I've ever heard!
Erica: Yeah, it's not great. But bears like honey, so grab yourself a fork.

Quote from Pops

Pops: Bevy, who was that?
Beverly: Destiny.
Pops: How the hell did she get this number?