Mr. Woodburn: Adam Goldberg... Sandra Day O'Connor.
Adam: Oh, no, thank you.
Mr. Woodburn: "No, thank you"? This should be enraging. Say your dumb words.
Adam: As you know, Mr. Coleman agreed that I'm a visual learner and always let me make a video.
Mr. Woodburn: As you know, Mr. Coleman was fired for tying a quarter to a string and stealing Rolos from the vending machines.
Adam: Paper it is. I believe you said it would be on George Lucas?
Mr. Glascott: 1,000 words on Sandra Day O'Connor.
Adam: How about Sarah Connor, the character from Terminator? Which is directed by James Cameron, which is who my paper will be on.
Mr. Woodburn: Sandra... Day... O'Connor! You know what? Everybody just sit quietly while I snap chalk!

Beverly: Ring-a-ding-ding. It's time for the Beverly Goldberg School of Learnin'.
Adam: From the same people who brought me a C?
Beverly: Woodburn had it out for us, but I think we both know if I hadn't been someone who could've been a lawyer, I could've been someone who might've been a teacher.
Adam: Wow.
Beverly: Wow, indeed.

Principal Ball: I suppose there is another option.
Adam: The understanding that I've clearly learned my lesson?
Principal Ball: The shunning bench. [bell tolls]
Adam: The bench where kids wait to see the school nurse for their lice check? [bell tolls]
Principal Ball: Yes, but we spray it. And it's also part of a hallowed Quaker tradition. The guilty student sits there while his classmates scorn him as they casually stroll by. [chuckles] It's a hoot.
Adam: Sold! Gimme the old-timey benchy thing.
Beverly: Never! We accept the full suspension.
Adam: Why? There's a perfectly viable shaming option available. [bell tolls]