Barry Quote #907
Principal Ball: So, for the first time in William Penn's storied history, we have no valedictory speech.
Barry: Not so fast! I got tons of stuff to say.
Beverly: Ah. [bleep].
Principal Ball: Mr. Goldberg, there is absolutely no world in which I would let you touch-
Barry: Thank you for those kind words, sir.
Pops: Oh, this just got good.
Barry: Welcome, parents, fellow students, esteemed faculty, JTP.
All: JTP.
Barry: I'm Barry Goldberg. You might know me from the time my mom body slammed me at a wrestling tournament. Or when I showed up to school dressed as Boy George. Or last night when I put on a break-dancing show that had some very mixed reviews. But that's the amazing thing about this school. Every time I fell, there was always someone there to pick me up. I learned a lot here, but mostly, this place taught me to never be afraid to fail, and I know everyone sitting behind me feels the same way.
Murray: Would you look at that? Our moron did good.
The Goldbergs Quotes
‘Breakin'’ Quotes
Quote from Geoff
Geoff: I know, and having to write a speech on top of everything else completely implodes my jam-packed Filofax schedule.
Erica: What the hell am I looking at right now?
Geoff: My summer broken down and planned to the minute.
Erica: Dude, you have two jobs and five summer school classes and an internship at LensCrafters.
Geoff: Not enough?
Erica: It's more than enough. You even scheduled bathroom breaks.
Geoff: It's either Wednesdays at 4:00 or not at all.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: How's Geoffrey feeling?
Erica: Like his body has been ravaged by shingles.
Beverly: [breathes sharply] That is wonderful news!
Erica: The sooner I ask, the sooner I can start regretting asking. Why is Geoff's pain wonderful news?
Beverly: You've locked down every yenta's dream a man so concerned with your future that he's made himself sick.
Erica: And why exactly is that good?
Beverly: He loves you so much he's willing to do anything to provide for you. Of course, his stress rashes will continue, and all his hair will fall out, and his tired body will break till he forms a widow's hump.
Erica: Ew. I don't want a rashy bald hunchback for a husband.
Beverly: You'd be so lucky. Every day, I thank God that I have a man who would exhaust himself into that- [Murray snores] - for me and this family. Murray, don't eat Ritz crackers in your sleep! You'll choke to death! Where were we?
Erica: We were just wrapping up your positive spin on having to watch your husband breathe. Enjoy the rest of your day.
Quote from Geoff
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Since my mom was the one that put Geoff back on track, she knew it was her job to help him.
Geoff: Webster's Dictionary defines "Webster" as a sitcom about an adorable, pocket-sized boy. Hold for laughter. You know, if there's one thing that this school's done for me, it's [snorts] helped me find my voice. My throat is dry. In the immortal words of Mahatma Gandhi, is it me or is it hot in here? Gandhi did not said that. I said that because I'm drenched in fear right now. Although he could have said that. We don't know. He was hot in India. So, in conclusion, I ask you, do you see floating spots? 'Cause there's, like, so many.