Barry Quote #829
Quote from Barry in Major League'd
Adam: Finally, we have to band together and address each of our weaknesses. Like in the movie when the team had to convince Wild Thing to wear glasses.
Barry: Bro, I think someone would know if they needed glasses.
Matt: Not to be this guy, but we're all painfully aware that you're super nearsighted but refuse to acknowledge it.
Barry: I can see just fine. I'll prove it. I'll read your shirt. "Spice Inventors."
All: No.
Barry: "Spork Investors"?
All: No.
Barry: "Shark Incisors"?
All: No.
Barry: "Snake Inhalers." Yeah?
All: Nope.
Barry: "Spanish Inquisition"?
All: No, that's-
Barry: "Saint Ignatius"?
Naked Rob: What?
Matt: How have you made it this far?
Barry: "Spare Bedroom"?
Adam: No.
Barry: "Spanakopita"?
Dave Kim: Here. I'm nearsighted, too.
Barry: Oh, it's "Space Invaders." That makes sense.
Naked Rob: So you're finally admitting to yourself that you need glasses?
Barry: I've always known! I can't believe you all knew and never cared enough to tell me. [crushes Dave Kim's glasses]
Dave Kim: Why?
Barry: I'll get us each a new pair.
The Goldbergs Quotes
‘Major League'd’ Quotes
Quote from Erica
Erica: Okay, let's just take a deep breath of the fresh mountain air and think. I lied my way into this mess. I can lie my way out of it.
[cut to:]
Erica: And just as the scholastic gala was ending, Geoff and I walked outside and found a sack of abandoned puppies. Naturally, we raced the car to the animal hospital, but there was a drawbridge being raised and we tried to jump it for the puppies because we're good people, but the car didn't make it. Luckily, we're fine and so were the two dozen puppies that have now all found homes.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: Drawbridges are death ramps. My nail girl's brother tried to jump a drawbridge. They found his head and torso on a fishing trawler. He's in culinary school now, but every day is a struggle. Thank God the two of you were not hurt.
Quote from Barry
Erica: Move, dumbass. We can't see.
Barry: I know. I was once like you. But thanks to major advances in contact-lens technology, I now have the vision of an eagle holding a telescope. Now that I have better-than-perfect vision, a whole new world of careers has opened up for me. Be hold. I can now be a fighter pilot, umpire, professional Where's Waldo-finder, Avid reader, guy who writes things on rice, long-distance peeping tom, and Olympic athlete.
Erica: It's a tad late to start training for the Olympics.
Barry: Not with these laser-focused baby browns. Oh, God, my contact lens popped out. Help. Help me.
Erica: Mark my words, if Barry somehow makes it in, it will be the most memorable thing to ever happen at the Olympics.