Adam Quote #664
Quote from Adam in Major League'd
Mr. Crosby: You wanted to see me, Earl?
Principal Ball: Ah, there's my favorite shop teacher.
Mr. Crosby: We should cut the chitchat. I have 63 birdhouses to grade.
Principal Ball: See, that is just the kind of statement that leads me to believe you're the perfect man to help me out-
Mr. Crosby: With?
Principal Ball: I want to get rid of the baseball team.
Mr. Crosby: Sure.
Principal Ball: See, Coach Mellor's departure has left the team in shambles.
Mr. Crosby: Sure.
Principal Ball: They're so bad that even the school paper has stopped trying to spin the losses. If our team keeps playing like hot garbage, I could convince the board to drop the program and spend that money fixing our budgeting issues.
Mr. Crosby: Sure.
Principal Ball: Which is why you're gonna be our new baseball coach.
Mr. Crosby: What? I don't know anything about the game. All I played growing up were timber sports.
Principal Ball: Timber sports?
Mr. Glascott: Log rolling, speed felling, speed whittling, speed sanding.
Principal Ball: Yeah, you help me lose and that absurd radial arm saw you have been requesting is all yours.
Mr. Crosby: Batter up.
Principal Ball: I have taken the liberty of tracking down some new recruits for the team. They all happen to be students who have been dodging their athletic requirements, if you catch my drift. Good luck.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] And with that, Mr. Crosby set out to assemble the worst high-school team of all time.
The Goldbergs Quotes
‘Major League'd’ Quotes
Quote from Erica
Erica: Okay, let's just take a deep breath of the fresh mountain air and think. I lied my way into this mess. I can lie my way out of it.
[cut to:]
Erica: And just as the scholastic gala was ending, Geoff and I walked outside and found a sack of abandoned puppies. Naturally, we raced the car to the animal hospital, but there was a drawbridge being raised and we tried to jump it for the puppies because we're good people, but the car didn't make it. Luckily, we're fine and so were the two dozen puppies that have now all found homes.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: Drawbridges are death ramps. My nail girl's brother tried to jump a drawbridge. They found his head and torso on a fishing trawler. He's in culinary school now, but every day is a struggle. Thank God the two of you were not hurt.
Quote from Barry
Erica: Move, dumbass. We can't see.
Barry: I know. I was once like you. But thanks to major advances in contact-lens technology, I now have the vision of an eagle holding a telescope. Now that I have better-than-perfect vision, a whole new world of careers has opened up for me. Be hold. I can now be a fighter pilot, umpire, professional Where's Waldo-finder, Avid reader, guy who writes things on rice, long-distance peeping tom, and Olympic athlete.
Erica: It's a tad late to start training for the Olympics.
Barry: Not with these laser-focused baby browns. Oh, God, my contact lens popped out. Help. Help me.
Erica: Mark my words, if Barry somehow makes it in, it will be the most memorable thing to ever happen at the Olympics.