Murray Quote #667

Quote from Murray in The Living Room: A 100% True Story

Beverly: Time to shake it, Mustang Murray!
Adult Adam: [v.o.] And so my dad put his plan into action.
Murray: Go easy on me, because I'm not in perfect shape like you are.
Beverly: Me? [laughing] Oh, stop it.
Murray: Maybe it's just your beautiful new haircut?
Beverly: I didn't think you noticed.
Murray: How could I not? It looks like you're wearing a golden crown, which makes sense because you're my queen.
Beverly: And you are my big, grumbly king.
Murray: How about we head downtown to Bookbinders for a delicious lobster dinner?
Beverly: Well, I better get outta this spandex and put on my sparkliest sweater.
Murray: [to Barry] And that is how you never move your body.
Barry: You're not a very good life partner.
Murray: Thank you.


 ‘The Living Room: A 100% True Story’ Quotes

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: You think an umbrella stand made of pure antique brass is $50? No. Try $2,000. This commode is one-of-a-kind. I'll take no less than $6,802. This Victorian-style chandelier needs all-new wiring and bulbs and is $42,000 American. Chippendale-style slant front desk. It has my son Barry's name carved in it, which makes it $100,000 exactly. Semi-authentic Cherry Blossom privacy screen. I think 1.2 is fair, but I don't want to seem unrealistic, so 1.1. This golden red velvet couch is the aria of my personal furniture opera. I'll accept no less than $6.5 million. This is priceless.
Auctioneer: The display of dead owls is priceless?
Beverly: See, I bought them on my honeymoon in London, and you can't just bring things like this back into our country for disease-control reasons, so when I was at customs, I pretended to be a science teacher in need of them for my students.
Auctioneer: That can't possibly be true.
Beverly: That story is 100% real. Which is why this item is so special, one cannot put a monetary value on it.
Auctioneer: Let me take a stab. 60 bucks?
Beverly: I hear you, and I'm willing to go down to $40,000.

Quote from Murray

Barry: Since when do you walk or wear sneakers or participate in life?
Murray: Here's the deal. Every year after I see the doctor, your mom forces me to do some stupid new exercise fad.
Barry: Since when? I've never seen that.
Murray: Exactly! Right before we start working out, I bombard your mom with a year's worth of compliments.
Barry: So you don't compliment the lady all year long?
Murray: No, I save it all for this very moment. And it gets her all flustered and distracted, and that's when I ask her out for a big, fancy lobster dinner.
Barry: Why?
Murray: Your mom forgets all about exercising, and I get to dump ocean meat into hot butter.
Barry: But they list lobster as market price on the menu. You say they're vague on purpose to rip you off.
Murray: Oh, it's so worth it, man. I don't want to exercise.

 Murray Goldberg Quotes

Quote from Dinner with the Goldbergs

Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was now decision-making time. And for my dad, the only choice was how to save money.
Murray: Okay, it's time for Murray's menu rules. Remember, no prime cuts, no fancy sides, no out-of-season vegetables, no market price, no salad bar, no items in French, no dry-aged anything, and, most importantly...
All: No appetizers of any kind, 'cause that's how they screw ya.
Geoff: Does that include a nice soup?
Murray: Are you for real? Is he for real? You're gonna eat a little meal before you eat a big meal? How many meals do you need?

Quote from A Chorus Lie

Erica: How is it my fault that every guy in our school is an unbearable moron?
Lainey: That's another thing. You gotta stop calling everyone a moron.
Murray: Morons! You're being too loud! Find another house to stupid up.
Barry: Oh my God, you're just like Dad! Way to go, Mur-man. Years of calling everyone on the planet a moron has poisoned your daughter's love life, and left her cold and alone.
Murray: So you're telling me that I've raised a daughter who doesn't want to date dumbass high school boys?
I think I've done my job.