Beverly: In honor of my schmoopie-poop's arrival home and back into my loving arms, I present the most tender brisket ever brisketed.
Erica: How can you brisket at a time like this? Dad's about to come home and lose his mind when he hears I dropped out.
Beverly: That's the point. I know exactly how to butter up your father. You do it with meat. And actual butter.

Beverly: Homegirl's gonna find out what it means to work for a living. So, you better get ready to sew some buttons and hot-tar some roofs and tend to them chickens!
Erica: What era do you have me working in?

Erica: Anyway, I'm gonna go take a nap in the bath.
Beverly: Or instead of napping, you could open a newspaper and see if there's anything there for you.
Erica: Why would I want help? I got you, silly Mom.
Beverly: No, I'm putting my foot down! I love you so much, but I will throw your [bleep] right out onto our suburban street.
Erica: Um, isn't that Dad's thing?
Beverly: I've got a foot, too, Missy!