The Goldbergs - Barry Quote #739
Barry: Ha, you got khaki pants! Khak attack!
Coach Mellor: You like pranks, huh? Up here. Honestly, I don't even understand what's comical about this.
Barry: Goldberg does it again. Give me some.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: In honor of my schmoopie-poop's arrival home and back into my loving arms, I present the most tender brisket ever brisketed.
Erica: How can you brisket at a time like this? Dad's about to come home and lose his mind when he hears I dropped out.
Beverly: That's the point. I know exactly how to butter up your father. You do it with meat. And actual butter.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: Homegirl's gonna find out what it means to work for a living. So, you better get ready to sew some buttons and hot-tar some roofs and tend to them chickens!
Erica: What era do you have me working in?
Quote from Murray
Murray: I'm home! I hit a lot of personal and professional lows today, so give me a wide berth.
Quote from The Opportunity of a Lifetime
Beverly: I just I wanted to tell Barry, uh, [quietly] don't pitch.
Barry: Did you just call me a "dumb bitch"?
Beverly: No, I said "don't pitch."
Barry: What? That's even worse!
Quote from Cowboy Country
Barry: If I hear you say no again, I'm hulking out. We're talking screaming and swearing. I'm gonna smash this decorative box.
Murray: Do not hulk out. Do not smash that decorative box.
Barry: Say goodbye to the decorative box.
Murray: Your mom keeps her knick-knacks in there.
Barry: I'll destroy her knick-knacks too! Hulk doesn't respect knick-knacks..
Quote from Why're You Hitting Yourself?
Barry: My perfect girl? Well, she should have big blue eyes, and big blonde hair.
Beverly: Mmm, she sounds fun.
Barry: She shouldn't be afraid to speak her mind, you know? I mean, she should have a sensitive side, but still be a hard-ass.
Beverly: Oh, sit up straight, honey.
Barry: And I want her to take care of me. Cook, pick up my stuff, make me hot pockets.
Barry: By the way, thank you for the hot pocket.
Beverly: All right, and I'm on the case for my sweet, handsome, delicious boy.
Erica: You know you just described mom.
Barry: What!? I did n- Oh, my God! Mom! I meant a brunette who doesn't cook at all. And she's gotta be super shy and not related to me at all.