Barry Quote #1355
Quote from Barry in The Rose-Kissy Thing
Adam: I just don't want to go to this banquet.
Barry: Whatever the reason, you will be transformed from an undersized sack of soft garbage into an explosively high-performance muscular super jock.
Adam: Why exactly are you embracing this challenge with so much intensity?
Barry: To prove to Dad that I am such an elite athlete that I can even turn the weakest, scrawniest, and most pathetic among us into Dan Marino.
Adam: The Isotoner glove model? I didn't know he did sports.
Barry: Your training begins now! I'm gonna need gravity boots and a tractor tire. Let's go!
Adam: [scoffs] Here I come, I guess.
The Goldbergs Quotes
‘The Rose-Kissy Thing’ Quotes
Quote from Barry
Beverly: Do you realize how much better athletes are treated at what we were promised was an exclusive, elitist private school?
Barry: We did have it pretty good.
Murray: What are you talking about? You're not an athlete, unless they turned being a moron into a sport.
Barry: How dare you? I'm an Olympic-caliber sportsman who never got a chance to prove it 'cause coaches, teammates, umpires, and equipment managers were too intimidated by my dominance.
Murray: We can stop talking now.
Quote from Barry
Adam: I need you to turn me into an athlete.
Barry: Are you talking to me or God? 'Cause that's a tall order for either of us.
Adam: If I make it onto a sports team, I won't have to participate in Non-Athlete Senior Night.
Barry: Fine! Tell me the sport, I'll make you a legend.
Adam: Doesn't matter. You pick.
Barry: Well, I'd rule out anything that requires a bat, ball, mitt, racket, stick, club, coordination, endurance, desire, grit, strategy, physical contact, or a commanding voice for calling signals.
Adam: What's left?
Barry: Spring track.
Adam: In! What's the minimum I have to do to make the team?
Barry: I only know the maximum.
Adam: I don't need the maximum.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: Well, let's get it over with. I've got a 12-cheese calzone in the oven.
Vicki Bee: That seems like too many cheeses.
Beverly: You'd think, but somehow, more becomes indecipherably less. Hey, Brea's mom, if I give you my keys, will you run home and take it out for me?
Vicki Bee: Yeah, I'm not gonna miss my daughter's big moment.
Beverly: Big moment? She taps a balloon across a net. Oh, also congratulations, Brea.
Brea: Thanks. [chuckles] Sort of.