Barry Quote #1354

Quote from Barry in The Rose-Kissy Thing

Adam: I need you to turn me into an athlete.
Barry: Are you talking to me or God? 'Cause that's a tall order for either of us.
Adam: If I make it onto a sports team, I won't have to participate in Non-Athlete Senior Night.
Barry: Fine! Tell me the sport, I'll make you a legend.
Adam: Doesn't matter. You pick.
Barry: Well, I'd rule out anything that requires a bat, ball, mitt, racket, stick, club, coordination, endurance, desire, grit, strategy, physical contact, or a commanding voice for calling signals.
Adam: What's left?
Barry: Spring track.
Adam: In! What's the minimum I have to do to make the team?
Barry: I only know the maximum.
Adam: I don't need the maximum.

Rate

 ‘The Rose-Kissy Thing’ Quotes

Quote from Barry

Beverly: Do you realize how much better athletes are treated at what we were promised was an exclusive, elitist private school?
Barry: We did have it pretty good.
Murray: What are you talking about? You're not an athlete, unless they turned being a moron into a sport.
Barry: How dare you? I'm an Olympic-caliber sportsman who never got a chance to prove it 'cause coaches, teammates, umpires, and equipment managers were too intimidated by my dominance.
Murray: We can stop talking now.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Well, let's get it over with. I've got a 12-cheese calzone in the oven.
Vicki Bee: That seems like too many cheeses.
Beverly: You'd think, but somehow, more becomes indecipherably less. Hey, Brea's mom, if I give you my keys, will you run home and take it out for me?
Vicki Bee: Yeah, I'm not gonna miss my daughter's big moment.
Beverly: Big moment? She taps a balloon across a net. Oh, also congratulations, Brea.
Brea: Thanks. [chuckles] Sort of.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Big whoop. Remember the time you re-created Moses leading his people out of Egypt with Legos and Kool-Aid? That was impressive.