The Goldbergs - Murray Quote #277

Quote from Murray in I Caddyshacked the Pool

Murray: Hey, how are you doing?
Adam: Why are you in my room?
Murray: Just came by to say hi, and (mumbles).
Adam: What?
Murray: (mumbles)
Adam: What?
Murray: Y'know, (mumbles "you've got a beautiful body").
Adam: See, you keep trailing off specifically at the end.
Murray: You've got a beautiful body! This body of yours, beautiful.
Adam: Don't ever tell me that again!
Murray: Deal. But, let's be truthful. You don't have a beautiful body.
Adam: Thanks.
Murray: You're in middle school. Your body, it's stinky and greasy, and it's growing too fast. And, when you talk, it's like a broken kazoo. Those days were horrible. I remember them, I really do.
Adam: Since when have you had a shred of insecurity about your body? You'll go anywhere in your Tighty-Whities.
Murray: That's now. When I was your age, I hated my body. The good news is, I grew up and life beat me down so hard, I eventually stopped caring. And some day, life will crap on you so hard that you'll stop caring too.
Adam: That's oddly reassuring.
Murray: Trust me. Eventually you'll realize it doesn't matter what other people think.

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‘I Caddyshacked the Pool’ Quotes

Quote from Barry

Barry: Wait, she's getting interviewed by the William Penn Mirror?
Lainey: Come on, don't get all jealous because your sister's making news.
Barry: And me eating thirty-two fish sticks in the cafeteria isn't? This is classic media bias!

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: My little angel's a ten. You are a ten. You're a [bleep] ten!

Quote from Beverly

Coach Mellor: So you can vouch for your son's claim that he can't get into the pool because he's a CIA operative wearing a wire?
Beverly: That's classified.

Murray Quotes

Quote from Dinner with the Goldbergs

Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was now decision-making time. And for my dad, the only choice was how to save money.
Murray: Okay, it's time for Murray's menu rules. Remember, no prime cuts, no fancy sides, no out-of-season vegetables, no market price, no salad bar, no items in French, no dry-aged anything, and, most importantly...
All: No appetizers of any kind, 'cause that's how they screw ya.
Geoff: Does that include a nice soup?
Murray: Are you for real? Is he for real? You're gonna eat a little meal before you eat a big meal? How many meals do you need?

Quote from A Chorus Lie

Erica: How is it my fault that every guy in our school is an unbearable moron?
Lainey: That's another thing. You gotta stop calling everyone a moron.
Murray: Morons! You're being too loud! Find another house to stupid up.
Barry: Oh my God, you're just like Dad! Way to go, Mur-man. Years of calling everyone on the planet a moron has poisoned your daughter's love life, and left her cold and alone.
Murray: So you're telling me that I've raised a daughter who doesn't want to date dumbass high school boys?
I think I've done my job.

Quote from The Most Handsome Boy on the Planet

Murray: I didn't even like the stupid movie. Dumb little alien. All he wanted to do was go home, then he turns all white and crusty like an old dog turd. He loved that boy, but still he had to leave. I don't want to talk about the damn movie any more.