Adam Quote #1272
Erica: Don't worry. I just want to hunker down and not run into Geoff.
Barry: Well, there's no fear of that. He's already left for spring break.
Erica: To where? Daytona? South Padre? I don't care. Tell me now! Okay, I-I don't care.
Beverly: Those beaches are inappropriate. The only time a T-shirt should be wet is when Adam goes swimming in front of his classmates.
Adam: Mom got a doctor to say that I had a medical excuse.
Quote from Barry
Barry: If I hadn't promised to spend spring break helping Joanne move, I'd so be in La La Land, partying at Spago with Sigourney Weaver, James Worthy, and Duran Duran.
Adam: None of those people will let you in their party.
Barry: It's my party! I may not let them in.
Adam: So you're gonna travel to a city where you know no one and throw a party?
Barry: At a Malibu mansion!
Adam: At a mansion you don't own!
Barry: We got a day rate!
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: You used to be my sweet baby boy, afraid of the world, and now you'll be a hardened card fiend, willing to bet it all.
Adam: Card fiend? It's a friendly game.
Beverly: Please, my manicurist's son put a single nickel into a slot machine. Next thing you know, he's playing Russian Roulette to settle his cockfighting debts. He shot himself in the cheek, dimple to dimple. Now when he swigs water, he sprays like an Italian fountain.
Adam: None of that ever happened.
Beverly: Well, it's not happening to you, so go to class thankful you don't have any extra holes in your tiny perfect body, and we'll figure out your punishment later.
Adam: I think you discussing my holes at school is punishment enough, but okay.
Quote from Mama Drama
Beverly: I'm gonna ask you a question which you need to answer with complete honesty. Is there a world in which you are not the deserving child for this role?
Adam: There's no such world.
Beverly: Honey, I can get involved. I want to get involved. But I need to know that's what you want.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Usually when my mother wanted to mix in, I'd push her away as far away as possible. This was not one of those times.
Adam: Do it, mama. Make me Jesus.
Quote from I Heart Video Dating
Adam: I see it now. We open on a time portal as Mr. Lewis' cold, naked body spills to the Earth. He rises from the smoke like a Love Terminator.
Erica: Yeah, no nudity or time travel. Just make Mr. Lewis look cool. You know, macho.
Adam: We're making a picture! An Adam F. Goldberg joint.
Erica: What's with the "F"?
Adam: There's another Adam Goldberg at school. He's super-sensitive. I don't want to cause any marketplace confusion.
Erica: Don't worry about it. No one cares about either of you.