Beverly Quote #1309

Quote from Beverly in Quaker Warden

Adam: Mom, you left the car running and the door open.
Beverly: I'm not going anywhere until these ugly-ass snickerdoodles are out of my face.
Principal Ball: Whoa! Mrs. Goldberg, these are the new freshman moms. It's time to pass the torch.
Beverly: Or I take that torch and I burn this school to the ground.
Principal Ball: Beverly, Adam is a senior now, and with no other offspring at William Penn, that means, hallelujah, your time is up.
Beverly: Fine, these frumpy cows can handle the bake sale. I'll just, uh, organize the blood drive again.
Principal Ball: Well, we're going with licensed nurses this year. I never want to have to write the words "missing blood" on an insurance form again.
Beverly: Then I'll grab a yellow vest and be the crossing guard.
Principal Ball: I fear that the parents and faculty would be too tempted to run you over.
Adam: And don't forget all the kids who can drive.

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 ‘Quaker Warden’ Quotes

Quote from Barry

Barry: Welcome to Revenge 101, a master class in destroying your enemies.
Murray: This is already the greatest regret of my life.
Barry: All comments will be taken after the presentation.
Murray: Just get to it.
Barry: Lesson 1... get BUFF.
Bill Lewis: But that would take a lifetime of diet and exercise and a zest for life that your father clearly doesn't have.
Murray: Yeah, yeah, yeah, what he said.
Barry: No, the "B" is for "Bother."
Erica: Sure, teach what you know.
Barry: The "U" is for "Undermine." You need to spread gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip.
Bill Lewis: Is he a genius or a halfwit? I can't tell.
Barry: "F" is for "Fibbing." A gentle lie can work wonders.
Murray: Get to the last "F" so I can go back up to my chair.
Barry: And the final "F," of course, is for "F.L.O.R.F."
Bill Lewis: Sakes alive! Is that an acronym within an acronym?
Barry: Please, I don't even know what an acronym is.

Quote from Dave Kim

Dave Kim: And how can a turtleneck be too risqué? I haven't seen my own neck in years!

 Beverly Goldberg Quotes

Quote from The Darryl Dawkins Dance

Beverly: [beep] me sideways. I have raised some thoughtful children.

Quote from Happy Mom, Happy Life

Beverly: Somebody stole my baby. Well, not real baby, fake baby. It's a toy. Somebody stole my toy! I'm going to get attitude from my son's pretend wife. Can someone call the police? Or Toys 'r Us? I don't [beep] know any more.