Barry Quote #1161

Quote from Barry in Dee-Vorced

Erica: Dude, they can't live in a dump. They have girlfriends now.
Barry: Oh, please! These loveless, unlovable dummies don't have love in their love-deprived lives.
Matt: But we do. I met Beth when she came in The Gap looking for a fitted cable knit sweater, and she left with my heart.
Barry: Dear Penthouse letters, I have a story you'll never use.
Andy: My special lady is Gwen. Her purity ring says no, but her anger at her father says yes.
Barry: Gwen sounds like a poor man's Beth.
Naked Rob: I've recently begun a dalliance with Laura. She embraces my nudist lifestyle but asks that I put a towel down on her couch.
Barry: Sounds like you guys got a pretty good poker hand: three fives. Now let's go to the Wawa and play some classic JTP smash ball.
Erica: Is that where you smash fruit with swords and tennis racquets, and the guy who works there spends hours hosing it down?
Barry: Erica knows her sports.


 ‘Dee-Vorced’ Quotes

Quote from Adam

Beverly: Oh, baby, sit down. We have some upsetting news about Brea. Brea's mother, Vicki... [whispers] divorced.
Adam: What are you saying?
Beverly: [whispers] Divorced.
Adam: Still can't hear you.
Beverly: Dee. Vorced.
Adam: The Force?
Beverly: Dee. Vorced.
Adam: From Star Wars?

Quote from Murray

Beverly: I'm worried about Adam.
Murray: My point is, young couples say all sorts of dumb stuff.
Beverly: Well, what if this isn't just stuff? This girl could be our future daughter-in-law. We barely know her.
Murray: We know her... big girl with the Gorbachev thing on her face.
Beverly: That's very specific. Who are you thinking of?
Murray: I don't know. But why are we on the hook for all this? Call up her parents and let them destroy young hearts.
Beverly: That's a great idea, Murray. Except we don't have a phone to call them!
Murray: So go down the street and use the pay phone like I do to order calzones. Why am I the only one with good ideas?

Quote from Murray

Beverly: Murray, turn off your best friend! We got a problem!
Murray: Is that the electric bill? Because I told those kids, "Hey, you don't open that refrigerator until you know what you want!"
Beverly: It's Adam and Brea's love letters. They're discussing marriage!
Murray: They've only known each other like a week.
Beverly: They've been dating for over a year. She came to Miami with us.
Murray: Ah! I know who you're talking about. Big girl, like feet, blonde hair, pounds, big wine-stain birthmark on her face.
Beverly: No! And who is that?