Barry Quote #1075
Quote from Barry in The Return of the Formica King
Barry: This idiot is talking about injecting our musical with explosive, high-octane energy.
Adam: And it gets even more bonkers! Tell her who the main character is.
Barry: A giant, ass-kicking Tootsie Roll named Clyde.
Erica: Why the hell would a fighting chocolate treat be on a playground?
Barry: He fell out of a kid's pocket. Now he's gotta find his way back, with the help of Martin Riggs of Riggs and Murtaugh.
Geoff: You put the "Lethal Weapon" guys in your musical?
Adam: Just Riggs. He's an emotional time bomb, and he's got three jaunty numbers.
Erica: This is clinically insane.
Adam: That's the Riggs character. But don't worry. He accidentally blows himself up in the second act.
Erica: There's violence on the playground?!
Barry: And tons of sex. You know that big metal thing you spin? Some randy teens do unspeakable things on it. And the nudity is not tasteful.
Geoff: But isn't this show for kids?
Barry: I don't know who it's for. I just know it kicks ass.
Adam: Now tell 'em about the big finale.
Barry: Clyde the talking Tootsie defends the playground by destroying a robotic shark in a rap battle.
The Goldbergs Quotes
‘The Return of the Formica King’ Quotes
Quote from Adam
Dave Kim: So, what are we doing, again?
Adam: Erica ditched me, and I gotta finish a rousing musical that ties six story lines together and makes the audience weep by tomorrow. Here's what I got so far. [catchy melody plays]
Dave Kim: Are those the opening bars to "You Can Call Me Al" by Paul Simon?
Adam: Gah! I knew it sounded familiar!
Quote from Barry
Adam: Balls! Why would Erica screw me like this? A handful of drama kids are counting on me.
Barry: I'll do it.
Adam: No one's asking you. And what could you possibly bring to the table?
Barry: Oh, I bring everything to the table... chairs, place mats, napkin rings, decorative centerpieces, candles, my elbows.
Adam: Stop naming things that go on a table! I need music and lyrics.
Barry: Done and done. I'll write you the greatest rap known to man, and you can waste it on your lazy high school play.
Adam: Pass! I don't need you showing up out of nowhere, sucking on a treat, and insinuating yourself into my life!
Barry: You'll be back. They all come back. Except for all the ones who never come back.
Quote from Geoff
Geoff: Yoo-hoo. Geoffy's home. Oh, my, a guest? Erica, you didn't say anything about company. I'm so sorry. This is not how it normally looks.
Erica: Geoff, stop. You do not have to clean up for him. He was just leaving.
Geoff: So soon? A-At least stay for a beverage. We have Tab and sink water.
Adam: You've tempted me. I'm gonna park myself right here and make a night of it.
Erica: No! I have things to do.
Adam: Like finish a musical with your baby brother?
Geoff: Wow. You guys are a regular Rodgers and Hammerstein, except you're siblings and children and... Hey, look, a whole song about slides!
Adam: It's called "The Play Ground," and it's set in a playground. It makes you think.
Geoff: It almost does. A duet about monkey bars? I can't wait.
Erica: Well, you're gonna have to, because it's not happening.
Adam: Unless you take my hand and come with me to complete our theatrical destiny. Ohh! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Geoff: Stop by anytime. You're always welcome in our home.
Erica: No, he's not. And stop offering my Tabs to people.