Barry: I can't ride the bus anymore. Do you know what kinda people are on there?
Geoff: A delightful cross section of our great city?
Barry: It's a rolling caravan of monsters!
Ren: Oh, that's not entirely fair, man.
Barry: What's not fair is having someone cough soup on you.
Erica: So you're making friends. Good for you.
Barry: Don't! Okay? You got our car booted, and now I have to sit next to a lady with an animal in her lap I don't even recognize. It has the qualities of a squirrel but the face of baby.
Geoff: That can't be real.
Barry: You want to know what's real? A man with a unibrow didn't break eye contact with me for over an hour. "Why are you smiling, sir? And where are you going with all that fish?"

Barry: Since Dad took away the car, I have to ride the bus! An old man showed me the bruise on his back! It was like looking at the inside of a pomegranate.
Geoff: That can't be right.
Erica: Ew!
Barry: What's not right is how much cooking is done on there. I saw a guy heating up a pot of eels.
Ren: Eels?
Barry: Eels! And there's so much fighting! An old woman clocked the bus driver with a fraternity paddle! Who gave that to her?
Erica: Barry, maybe you just need to walk.
Barry: Are you a crazy person? My apartment's like a mile from here.

Geoff: Are these all parking tickets?
Erica: Yeah, they are. That's why they're in the parking ticket drawer.
Geoff: You've gotten a ticket in every illegal zone there is... Red, yellow, blue. What's green?
Erica: That's for parking on grass. But what was I supposed to do? There was no red curb.
Geoff: You can't park in either! My betrothed is a scofflaw!
Erica: Calm down, Jane Austen. Campus parking tickets don't count.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Turns out, they did.