Murray Quote #814

Quote from Murray in Geoff the Pleaser

Murray: Okay, first up is L. Lower expectations. It's something I've perfected over time.
Adam: Dad, can you quiz me with these science flash cards? Ah, who am I kidding? In all my years, you've never shown interest in my education.
Geoff: He thinks you're a worthless dad.
Murray: That took a lot of not doing. Next up is U. When there's no way out of something, underwhelm.
Beverly: This is how you wash a dish? Okay, no more washing dishes for you!
Geoff: You did a horrible job, and now she'll never ask you again.
Murray: I'm the worst. Next up is M, which stands for "mumble" and "moron."
Erica: Hey, Dad, can you show me how to change the oil in my car?
Murray: [mumbling]
Erica: What does that even mean?
Murray: Leave me alone, ya moron!

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 ‘Geoff the Pleaser’ Quotes

Quote from Murray

Geoff: So brilliant! So, what's P?
Murray: It's the thing I'm most proud of. Pants.
Geoff: Pants?
Murray: Why do you think I come in the house and take off my pants?
Geoff: I assumed it had to do with comfort and generally just giving up.
Murray: Yes, but also, who's the least likely person to be asked to do anything?
Geoff: Oh, my God. The guy with no pants.
Pops: Hey, Mur, could you give me a ride to the pharmacy... Oh, he's not even wearing pants. I'll bus it.
Geoff: My God. You have given me such a gift!
Murray: It's my life's work. Don't waste it. Get out there and do as little as you can.
Geoff: I'm gonna do nothing and make you proud.

Quote from Geoff

Adult Adam: [v.o.] With my dad's advice, Geoff was ready to be a lump of his own.
Erica: Hey, Geoff, could you run to the mailroom and get my mail for me?
Adult Adam: [v.o.] He lowered expectations.
Geoff: Erica, when have I ever done stuff like that for you?
Erica: Only all the time.
Geoff: Yeah, well, not in the last two minutes, so stop expecting it.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] He underwhelmed.
Naked Rob: Geoff, you said you were going to make a chore wheel for our house.
Geoff: Oh, right, right. [writes on a napkin] Here you go.
Andy: Yeah, this seems less like a chore wheel and more like a napkin with the words "Andy" and "mop."
Geoff: That's how Geoff do?
Barry: Unacceptable, Geoff! Your chore-wheel-making privileges are revoked.

Quote from Murray

Adult Adam: [v.o.] After realizing he was too much of a pleaser, Geoff sought help from the one person who never pleased anyone at all.
Murray: Why are you in front of the TV, Schwartz? It's a quarter to Remington Steele.
Geoff: Mr. G, I-I'm worried I'm a pleaser.
Murray: Well, you're not pleasing me right now.
Geoff: Everyone always wants me to do stuff for them, and I don't know how to say no. Y- You never do anything for anyone.
Murray: It's easy. Lump.
Geoff: As in just sit there and never move?
Murray: Definitely. But also L-U-M-P. It's my secret for not doing anything for anyone.
Geoff: You're a lazy monster, and that's what I need. Please, let me learn at your idle feet.