Coach Mellor Quote #132

Quote from Coach Mellor in Pickleball

Barry: Enough talk about God's fickle nature. My pathetic-nerd brother needs someone to show him how to pickle.
Coach Mellor: It's true. I forgot how pathetic and nerdy he is.
Adam: I don't really think that's the main takeaway here.
Barry: Look at his spindly arms and toothpick legs.
Coach Mellor: His concave chest and that doughy neck.
Coach Nick: And his flat feet and sickly posture.
Barry: Spin around, Adam. Show us how sad the back of your body is.
Adam: Yeah, my instinct is to say no.
Coach Mellor: You know what? Seeing this tragic excuse for the human form in its full non-glory is just the kick in the two-button polyester shorts I needed. I'm back, baby!
Barry: Whoo!
Coach Nick: And someone else is back, too. Hello, old friend. [whistle blows] Follow me to greatness, boys.

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 ‘Pickleball’ Quotes

Quote from Murray

Beverly: I'm sorry, Murray. You said you didn't want a party, and I didn't listen.
Murray: I- It wasn't that. It was perfect.
Beverly: You liked it?
Murray: Yeah, all those people, everything you did for me, I loved it.
Beverly: Then why are you in here?
Murray: [sighing] Oh, geez. Oh. My dad never cared about my birthday, so... I tried not to care. But tonight, I realized how much I missed.
Beverly: Oh, Murray.
Murray: Nah, it's a good thing. I may have not had a great dad or a great childhood, but I have a great wife and a great life now.
Beverly: Well, you know what the best part about this whole thing is?
Murray: I saw hoagies down there.
Beverly: You're a whole year younger than you thought you were.
Murray: And even better, I get an extra year with you.

Quote from Adam

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, the hottest trends were Jams, Wayfarer, Swatch watches, and acid-wash jeans. But at William Penn Academy, there was one item of colorful wool clothing that the biggest trendsetters were never without.
Adam: Is it just me, or does everyone but us have a letterman jacket?
Dave Kim: Speak for yourself, bro.
Adam: Did I miss the day they sell the clothes from the lost and found?
Dave Kim: We earned these. I lettered in badminton.
Emmy: Dive team.
Dan: Bass fishing.
Adam: Wow. This school's athletic department has really grown in the last few years.

 Coach Mellor Quotes

Quote from Goldberg on The Goldbergs

Beverly: Can't you just get past it? He's your family.
Coach Mellor: You sound like Mama, God rest her soul.
Beverly: You mean..?
Coach Mellor: She died doing what she loved, though. Frog squats.
Beverly: Coach, does your brother have any idea what he's done to you?
Coach Mellor: That's what Mama asked me, right before she did that last ill-advised rep that sent her to the final cool-down in the sky. Oh, Mama, why'd you have to crush it so hard?

Quote from A Chorus Lie

Coach Mellor: Goldfarb! Wheel it in. Time for a private huddle. I'm going to put this delicately, kid. You smell like a gym sock's butt.
Adam: Uh, thanks.
Coach Mellor: You smell like a garlic diaper.
Adam: Thanks?
Coach Mellor: You smell like egg salad left in a humidifier.
Adam: Thanks.
Coach Mellor: I assume you don't notice because you live with that stink 24/7.
Adam: Oh no. I smell it.
Coach Mellor: There's half a Speed Stick in my desk. It's yours now. Be liberal with it. Coach is on your team, here. It's why I pulled you aside to avoid embarrassment.
Adam: I guess I would have preferred you pulled me aside just a little farther.