Adult Adam: [v.o.] As Geoff's theory was proven false, I was eager to figure out why I had been kept blind to the truth.
Adam: Mom, how come you never told me racism is still around?
Pops: What an entrance. This house never disappoints.

Pops: I want to thank you for this lovely spread of loose jelly beans and sink water.
Erica: Hey, you're my number-one grandpa. And I need your help choosing a college major.
Pops: Honey, I get it. It's a big decision. Maybe art history?
Erica: Damn it! Why was that so easy for stupid Barry? He gets to be a doctor who makes a crap-ton of money and drives a convertible with vanity plates that say "Dr. Big Tasty."
Pops: You shouldn't compare yourself to Barry. You two are very different!
Erica: Yeah, he's gonna live in an apartment over the park while I'm stuck in an equally luxurious place because my husband's a doctor, but it's not the same.
Pops: Look, hon, you can do anything you want if you put your mind to it. Maybe art history?
Erica: You're right. I could totally be a doctor, too.
Pops: But until this moment, you never once expressed an interest in medicine.
Erica: Oh, thank you, Pops.
Pops: It might be time to stop emotionally investing in my grandchildren.

Pops: You okay, kiddo?
Erica: No. I screwed up college again. I'm not pre-med. I'm not pre-anything.
Pops: Mm. That's okay. You'll figure it out.
Erica: What if I don't? I already went down one wrong path with music. What if it happens again?
Pops: It might.
Erica: Well, that's not comforting at all.
Pops: Life's full of a million paths. I'm still trying out new ones myself.
Erica: Really?
Pops: Sure. Your major doesn't matter. What matters is your passion, and that, you got tons of.
Erica: I guess.
Pops: I know. And you should probably use some of it to fix what happened with your brother.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was January 27, 1980-something, and I was devouring the sci-fi classic Cocoon, the totally believable story of nursing-home residents who are reinvigorated by an alien fountain of youth. Good thing my Pops didn't need that. Or so I thought.
Pops: Well, that was confusing. You wanna hit the deli, get a cheese blintz, and sort out what happened?
Adam: What happened is you slept through one of the greatest movies ever.
Pops: Is it my fault it's dark and smells like butter?
Adam: You brought a pillow.
Pops: I shoulda brought a blanket, too. It's colder than a toilet seat at midnight in there.
Adam: As fun as it is to think about your moonlit bathroom adventures, you need to see it again.
Pops: I saw enough.
Adam: Doesn't matter. All the elderly friskiness has given me an idea. Let's dance our way home while checking out ladies that are age-inappropriate for both of us.
Pops: Better idea. I go home and sleep off this movie nap.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] With Barry's magical powder in my hands, I was gonna pull the biggest trick of all, making Pops young again.
Pops: Hey, kiddo, this is a surprise.
Adam: Oh, I'm sorry. You have a lady friend back there?
Pops: Just Susan B. Anthony. I'm sorting coins. Come on in.
Adam: Wow. That's a lot of pennies.

Pops: What you got in your monkey barrel there?
Adam: Hopefully, the answer to all of this.
Pops: "Male Rampage"? Endorsed by Rambo? How can it be endorsed by Rambo? He's a fictional character.
Adam: It just seems like you have a little less energy lately. I thought this might make you feel... like your old self.
Pops: Oh. I see.
Adam: If you don't want to...
Pops: No. No! Why wouldn't I want to drink more "blood of my enemies"? [drinks]
Adam: Well?
Pops: Mmm. Hachi-machi.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] And just like that, my ass-kicking grandpa was back.

Pops: I feel tremendous! I could take on the world! Ooh!
Adult Adam: [v.o.] And he did. He charmed beautiful strangers.
Pops: That's how it's done, kid.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] He tossed a Frisbee like a pro.
Pops: Hot disc coming at ya. Whoa!
Adult Adam: [v.o.] He even did bike tricks.
Pops: Hang on. I'm gonna pop a wheelie. Ha, ha!
Adult Adam: [v.o.] And then, just like inCocoon...
Pops: Cannonball!
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yep, it may have just been the placebo effect, but I got the spring back in Pops' step.
Adam: This is the best.
Pops: You said it, kiddo. To our youth.

Adam: Pops! Stop!
Milton: No running! No running! Read the posted signs!
Pops: Kiddo, you ready for me to do the dive, just like Reggie Dangerberg in Back to the Pool?
Adam: Do you mean Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School?
Pops: That's what I said.
Adam: You were embarrassingly off, but that's not important. What's important is you need to get down!
Pops: But I took a bunch of your muscle dust, and I climbed up here. It seems like I already made my choice.
Adam: But you're gonna hurt yourself! Male Rampage doesn't make you young again. Nothing does.
Pops: We'll see about that when I enter the water like a graceful... Whoa! [bleeps]
Adam: Pops! Pops, are you okay?
Pops: Get all the ice. And then find some more.

Adam: Pops, I'm so sorry. I never should have given you that powder.
Pops: Oh, don't be. I knew what I was taking.
Adam: What? You knew it wasn't real? Then why'd you climb up on that high-dive?
Pops: For you. You seemed so upset I was slowing down, I figured I'd give you a few days of the old Pops.
Adam: I'm so confused. Then where'd all that energy come from?
Pops: Simple. I am in incredible pain.

Pops: It's Boss Pig from that show with the gal whose entire character is she wears jean shorts.
Barry: I do look like a boss. Go stupider.