Previous Episode Next Episode 
Mom Trumps Willow

‘Mom Trumps Willow’

Season 6, Episode 22 - Aired May 1, 2019

Adam crosses a line as he tries to get out of spending Mother's Day with Beverly so he can see the new George Lucas film. Meanwhile, Barry's joy at getting into Penn State is short-lived when Erica announces she'll be going there too.

Quote from Adam

Adam: She leave any messages for me?
Pops: Yeah, she did. I wrote it down. "I'm done."
Adam: Unbelievable! She really is done and it's taking its toll on me!
Pops: Kiddo, just tell her you're sorry.
Adam: I tried, but nothing works. This morning, I asked her if she wanted to take a bite of my neck meat, and you know what she said? "Nah, man." She called me "man," man!
Pops: That is bad.

Rate

Quote from Pops

Pops: There's gotta be some way to fix this.
Adam: Yeah, she said to go back in time and be the sweet little boy that loved her more than anything.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] And then it hit me. Sears Photo Session.
Adam: Wait that's it! I know exactly what to do! Boom!
[cut to:]
Pops: Hey, kid, I-I don't think this is the answer.
Adam: I've never been more confident of anything in my whole life.
Pops: You really shouldn't be.

Quote from Adam

Photographer: All right, let's get to work uh, whoa!
Adam: You don't happen to have an oversized lollipop, do you?
Photographer: Yeah, I can't take this photo.
Pops: Just take the photo.
Adam: Just shoot it, dude!
Photographer: Look, I don't know why an old man wants this photo, but I'm thinking I shouldn't be a part of it.
Pops: It's not for me!
Adam: Trust me, there's nothing weird about it. It's for my mom.
Pops: Not helping!

Quote from Barry

Barry: Query! Let's say a certain applicant lied to admissions about flunking out of music college. Would Penn wanna know about it?
Dean: That's an extremely specific question, but I guess we'd look into it. Now, about declaring a major-
Erica: Would it also be concerning if another applicant was so selfish that he'd jeopardize his sister's future, and also once he pooped on the bus?
Dean: Another very specific question. I think I misheard you. What happened on the bus?
Barry: I can speak to that hypothetical and assure you that only happened 'cause the facilities at Colonial Williamsburg were inadequate.
Erica: Would the school also reconsider an applicant because he challenged a horse to a fight on more than one occasion?
Barry: Or is that the kind of passionate individual Penn is looking for?
Dean: No. Definitely not.
Barry: Should the university be aware that a certain student once sling-shotted her training bra at Donnie Wahlberg at a New Kids concert?
Erica: Should the university also be aware that another certain student practiced kissing on a Miss Piggy puppet?
Barry: Hey! The university must know the facts! You accepted an incoming freshman who was busted in kindergarten for eating paste.
Erica: How dare you?! And it had glitter in it.
Barry: Regardless, you accepted a student who will ruin my life!

Quote from Beverly

Adam: According to you, there's one way to undo you being done, which is to go back to being the little boy who loved you so much.
Beverly: I think we both know that's not possible, Adam.
Adam: Or is it?
Beverly: [gasps] What the [bleep] is that, man?!
Adam: You wanted me to go back in the time machine? Well, I did it! I'm back, baby!
Beverly: Oh, my God, look at you! Why would you do this?
Adam: I-I thought you wanted me to!
Beverly: Sweet Lord in heaven, you look like a cursed doll!
Adam: This gesture was supposed to show you that I love you!
Beverly: Adam. If you ever go to prison for something terrible, this is the picture they'll show, and people will look at it and say, like, "Oh, yeah, I get it."

Quote from Dave Kim

Adam: You know, I've been thinking a lot about "Willow," and I gotta say, the movie stayed with me.
Dave Kim: Me too, bro! I mean, Val Kilmer!
Adam: Val Kilmer!
Dave Kim: That dude is awesome in everything he does. "Top Secret," "Real Genius," "Lost Boys."
Adam: Val Kilmer isn't in "Lost Boys."
Dave Kim: Of course he is. He's the vampire with the face and the fangs.
Adam: I will bet you 20 large that you are dead wrong, Dave Kim.
Dave Kim: You are so on!
Adam: We'll just go to the public library, scan the microfiche, and pore over every People magazine on file. After hours of researching and cross-referencing, boom! We will have our answer!
Dave Kim: Dude, our modern world is awesome.

Quote from Adam

Adam: Please, let me join in on your breakfast! Here, I can make toast!
Barry: Already did.
Adam: No! That's all I'm capable of!

Quote from Barry

Barry: There she is! Guess what special day it is, pretty lady?
Beverly: Happy Mother's Day! It's Mother's Day! For me!
Barry: Look what I alone made for you!
Beverly: Aww, my Sugartush charred me a Belgian waffle and put a poison flower on top.
Barry: I woke up at dawn just to make everything right for my wonderful mama-bear!

Quote from Adam

Adam: Let's just make it super fast 'cause I got big plans today with Dave Kim.
Beverly: Plans? What plans?
Adam: "Willow"! It's George Lucas' blockbuster follow-up to "Star Wars"!
Erica: [congested] Wow, it's like super selfish to pick some movie over your mom. I don't even know what to say.
Barry: I do. You're a bad son.
Adam: Gah! Let's just go and take these photos super fast 'cause "Willow"!

Quote from Murray

Barry: Whoa, wait! You guys are watching "Knight Rider" and didn't even invite me? Scootch!
Erica: You scootch. I'm already here.
Barry: That's the best spot on the couch and I'm sick of you always hogging it.
Murray: Damn it! I can't hear the snooty car talk. Either sit down, or get out.

 First PagePage 3