Adam: Aah!
Beverly: [chuckles] Looks like my little fun-size Snickers is awake!

Beverly: I got you sleeping again. You know, a mother's love really is the best medicine.
Adam: To be clear, Vin and Lynn Geary helped me, not your creep-o stuff.
Beverly: I'm sorry Vin and Lynn what, now?
Adam: You heard me. They used Fangoria to help me face my fears head on.
Beverly: Ho-no! How dare they successfully parent my child?! Murray, get in here!
Murray: Which moron did what?! Just yell it to me!
Beverly: It's those damn Gearys again! They mixed in with our baby! The chutzpah!
Murray: Those stinkin' hippies! They don't follow the rules of society!

Lynn: I'm sorry, what exactly are you worked up about?
Beverly: We have to do something fast. Because of you people, my son stopped having night terrors.
Lynn: You're welcome?
Murray: How shocking, the hippie doesn't get it!
Lynn: Why does he keep calling us hippies?
Beverly: Because of your head-in-the-sand loosey-goosey parenting style! Which is the reason my little angel started having nightmares to begin with!
Vinnie: Well, maybe if he wasn't an over-mothered bubble-wrapped veal child, he wouldn't be having nightmares in the first place!

Adam: I can't believe you two!
Beverly: Look, we are your parents, and we know what's best for you-
Adam: But you don't! The Gearys helped me, not you! Honestly, I wish they were my parents!
Beverly: You don't mean that.
Adam: I've never meant anything more. ... Dead end! Still mad!

Beverly: Hi, um I lost my little baby. His name's Adam, goes by "Schmoo."
Freddy Krueger: Schmoo's not here. [cackles]
Beverly: I take it you work here.
Freddy Krueger: Try again.
Beverly: Yeah, I don't have time for games. I lost my son.
Freddy Krueger: Oooh. Bad mommy lost her little brat. [chuckling.]
Beverly: I'm sorry, who do you think you are?
Freddy Krueger: Your worst nightmare.

Beverly: What the- My sweaters!
Freddy Krueger: You got good taste, lady. [evil laugh]
Beverly: Whatever, I don't care what happens to me. I'm already living my worst nightmare.
Freddy Krueger: Huh? I thought I was doing a pretty damn good job here.
Beverly: No, you're great with the knifey hands and the melting-candle face. It's just... [sighs] Adam said he wished I wasn't his mother.
Freddy Krueger: Oh, geez. That's an awful thing to say. Mm. I'm-a kill him.
Beverly: No. The more I think about it, I deserved what Adam said. I was terrible to Jackie's parents.
Freddy Krueger: Parents. [chuckling] Who needs 'em? I never knew any of my fathers, and I turned out just fine.
Beverly: I don't see how that applies to me, but I couldn't stand the Gearys because of the way they parented. But, then, they were able to help Adam, and I wasn't.
Freddy Krueger: Eh, this is getting way too touchy-feely for this cowboy. [bleep] it, time to die!
Beverly: No. Time to get my [bleep] son back.
Freddy Krueger: Hey! I say the [bleep] around here, lady!
Beverly: Not anymore, Mr. Kroeger.
Freddy Krueger: Krueger! It's Krueger!

Geoff: Trick or Treat. You can just take two and be on your way.
Erica: I don't want candy, Geoff. I want to make this right.
Geoff: Why? You were very clear. I'm an embarrassment.
Erica: Look, I know I hurt you but I was just lashing out because I couldn't admit the truth I am embarrassed. Of me. Of what I've become. A loser who peaked in high school.
Geoff: Maybe you think saying all that fixes this, but it really doesn't.
Erica: I know. But I'm hoping that going with you to that dance does.
Geoff: Depends. [applying a moustache] You ready to make my dreams come true?

Lynn: Hi. We're here to pick up our lying, deceitful daughter who we stupidly trusted.
Vinnie: Guess you were right. We're the bad parents. Go ahead. Rub it in our hippie faces.
Beverly: No, all I want to do is apologize.
Lynn: Really? Why?
Beverly: I was jealous. I thought you were the better parents. But both our kids are pretty great, so maybe there's more than one right way to raise them. 'Cause I realized as good as we are with our own kids, we're even better as a team.
Lynn: We really are.

Murray: I wanted to see Arlo Guthrie.
Both: What?
Murray: Yeah. At Woodstock! But I had to work, and all my friends got to jam and dance and bongo.
Vinnie: Oh. That sucks, man. I'm sorry.
Murray: Eh, whattaya gonna do?
Vinnie: Well, Arlo's coming to Philly next month. I could get us some tickets maybe?
Murray: Maybe.