Beverly: I just thought it'd be nice if Adam surprised Brea with a quick phone call.
Adam: I don't need to call Brea. We're fine. Plus, she's on the road. There's no way to reach her.
Beverly: Lucky for you, I've calculated her likely rate of speed, miles per gallon on her VW Rabbit, and the time she'll slow down to admire herself in the mirror. According to my calculations, Brea should be at this gas station, and I've got the number on speed dial.
Adam: Do not.
Beverly: [phone beeps] Oops.

Beverly: [on the phone] Uh, is there a young woman there? Name's Brea, red hair, eyes that are fine but not gorgeous.
Attendant: Brea?
Beverly: [whispers] It's her.
Brea: [takes phone] Uh, hello?
Adam: [takes phone] Uh, hi there, fine eyes.
Brea: Adam? Why are you calling me here? And how did you find me?
Adam: A boy never reveals his secrets. I mean man! All man! A man of men! [covers phone] I can't believe you did this to me!
Brea: Uh, yeah. I'm kind of running late. My cousin's taking me to a party at the Rotunda tonight.
Adam: The Rotunda, huh? Sounds funda.
Beverly: The Rotunda? Jefferson patterned it after the Parthenon! The Greeks, Adam. Sell NYU hard!
Brea: [attendant clears throat] Uh, Adam, I really got to go.
Adam: But next year, we should... [dial tone sounds] Aw, she hung up!

Pops: Good! Back to my thing. Now, I like starting my D's with the big, round belly part.

Murray: Where is everyone? Actually, forget about it. The important thing is they're gone.
Pops: Because you gave me no help, they're road-tripping to ol' Virginny!
Murray: Virginia? That's a lot of gas.
Pops: Focus. Adam's gonna tell Brea they need to go to college together next year, and he'll look like an insecure, needy nudnik.
Murray: Maybe the girl will think it's sweet.
Pops: It's gonna be over-the-top embarrassment.
Murray: [answers phone] Hello? Yeah. I got it. Thank you very much. [hangs up] That was the bank. Apparently, somebody in Maryland tried using my credit card to buy a white steed.
Pops: A white steed? I've seen that kid ride a bike. This isn't gonna end well.
Murray: Damn it, now I have to do things. Why didn't you say something?
Pops: Oh, go [bleep] yourself.

Emcee: Next up, Goldberg and Schwartz singing "Islands in the Stream".
Geoff: Oh, Barry, what are you doing? [chuckles]
Erica: What?
Geoff: Your sweet, stupid brother is trying to make up with me.
Erica: And you got there how?
Geoff: "Islands in the Stream"? Goldberg and Schwartz? That's our go-to karaoke song.
Erica: It's a classic romantic duet.
Geoff: So romantic, but we sing it ironically.

Adam: Smells good. What are you cooking?
Beverly: Oh, just some fried catfish, hush puppies, sweet potato pie, and Mama's famous fried okra.
Adam: Brea's coming over! She can't know we've been down South!
Beverly: [Southern accent] Quit your fussin'. I reckon I'd never tell tales about goin' down yonder.
Adam: Damn it, woman. Get it together!
Beverly: Please. You ain't knee-high to a June bug, so don't pitch a hissy fit, and set a spell. [Brea enters]
Adam: [Southern accent] There she is! Now, don't get too far in here, 'cause we gotta git. [normal voice] I mean go! Damn it!
Brea: I thought we were having dinner. Are those hoecakes?
Adam: There's no way to know! Move, move, move!
Brea: What? Oh!
Beverly: Y'all come back now, ya hear?

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, daytime talk shows reigned supreme, from Donahue to Joan Rivers, to Geraldo. Americans ate up the low-stakes drama and high-stakes fights. And for Barry and Geoff, their queen of afternoon TV was Philly legend Nancy Glass.
Nancy Glass: [on TV] Explain to me how you find yourself in a relationship with a sex doll.
Barry: Pathetic. This fool can't find real love, so he wants to marry a doll?
Geoff: Nancy always knows what to say, which in this case is, "You can't marry a doll!"
Barry: That doll's not even that attractive. Believe me. I've seen some gorgeous dolls in my time.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Barry and Geoff were superfans, and the only thing that could be better than watching Nancy on TV would be seeing her show live.

Geoff: Okay. Remember when my dad cured that guy's blindness, after first causing that guy's blindness?
Erica: While he was sightless, he developed a super sense of smell.
Geoff: Which is how he sniffed out the killer mold that was growing in his walls.
Beverly: Your dad saved that man's life by being so-so at his job.
Geoff: Blowing right by all of that... So, that guy's son works for Nancy Glass, and he gave me two tickets!
Barry: Tickets to see Nancy live? Is this really happening?
Geoff: It's happening, all right. Erica... [Beverly gasps] will you go see Nancy Glass with me?
Erica: Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!
Beverly: Oh! My baby's gonna be in the audience of a daytime talk show! [gasps] That's every mama's dream. We got to plan your outfit.
Erica: If I'm gonna be on TV, I want maximum skin exposure, so I need to find my most formal bikini.
Beverly: My child's gonna steal focus from the freak show onstage!

Matt: I know things are weird for you, but imagine how weird things would be for Geoff if you were dating his sister, Joanne.
Barry: Oh, my God. You're right.
Matt: Wait. Are you actually listening to me?
Barry: Indeed, Matt Bradley. And now I know how to fix things with Geoff. By dating Joanne.
Matt: Oh, no.
Barry: Oh, yup. I'm gonna love his sister so hard, it'll make him insane.
Matt: That doesn't sound right.
Barry: Then I'll make him watch.
Matt: Only one way to interpret that.
Barry: Then he'll realize he should take me to see Nancy Glass. Ta!
Matt: And this one got away from me.

Pops: Be strong, Adam. I have a great day planned. First, we hit the pinball machine at Riley's.