Barry: It was me.
Principal Ball: I'm sorry?
Barry: No, I am. In a childish effort to avoid prom, I Val Kilmered your car.
Principal Ball: I see. Well. Quite a surprise and disappointment. We're good here.
Barry: What? Don't you have to call the police?
Principal Ball: Do I?
Barry: Do I? 'Cause that'd be a hard phone call to make.

Erica: That's why tomorrow I'm gonna find a real job and pay you rent. And I never said this, but thank you for getting us our first paid gig.
Beverly: Oh, don't thank me. Not after I tried to take your boots and bedding.
Erica: No, I deserved it. It's just all your support and hugs and love made me feel so safe. Too safe.I just wanted to hide out here with people who love me. But I can't do that anymore.
Beverly: No matter what happens, this house will always be a safe place for you.
Erica: You mean it?
Beverly: I do. I'm putting my foot down.

Barry: How did you know I was here?
Lainey: C'mon. This is where you spent all your dances before we got together.
Barry: Wish I could be there for your first gig.
Lainey: I know. And I wish I could be your prom date.
Barry: But you said that-
Lainey: I know what I said. One dance. Better make it fast. Erica needs me.
Barry: Did you ever think we'd come back here again?
Lainey: I really didn't. But I'm really happy we did.
Barry: Happy enough to marry me?
Lainey: For sure.
Barry: Is that a yes? You never say yes.
Lainey: I'm saying it this time. Yes. I'll marry you, you big dummy.
Barry: I'm a high-school senior who's gonna marry a college dropout! This year turned out awesome!

Barry: Well, my whole school year's been a complete dook fest 'cause my one true love, Lainey, left me, and no one in this hellhole even noticed me.
Jamie Weisman: Hey, Barry. Everything cool?
Barry: I'm talking to some friends, Jamie Weisman. So rude.
Andy: Unreal.
Naked Rob: Agree.
Geoff: Totally.
Matt: Is it?

Barry: Lucky for me, it's prank week. With my evil brain smarts, I will finally become the school legend I am in my mind.

Barry: Ha, you got khaki pants! Khak attack!
Coach Mellor: You like pranks, huh? Up here. Honestly, I don't even understand what's comical about this.
Barry: Goldberg does it again. Give me some.

Erica: Is he lulled yet?
Beverly: No.
Murray: What is the girl-moron doing here? This better not be about dropping out, so help me.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yep, few things were as important to my dad as a college education.
[montage:]
Murray: You're not skipping out on college. You're studying and going to a good school. Your whole damn future depends on it! Here's a plan: college! College. College. College. College.

Bill Lewis: Is all of this just to hurt me? Is that what this is?
Lainey: Dad, go feed the fish.

Bill Lewis: My life is stalling! I was gonna do amazing things like take a pottery class or talk to that lady that hoses down the trucks at work.
Lainey: No one says you can't talk to the hose woman, Dad. Keep feeding the fish.

Erica: Whatcha working on there? Black n' white cookie? Looks fresh.
Pops: Help yourself. I-I got a dozen.
Murray: Hold on. No Black n' white cookies unless you pay for it.
Erica: I bet that chews up real nice.
Pops: This is hard to watch.
Murray: I think it's delightful.