Beverly: Boopie, it's almost dinner. Can you clean all this up?
Erica: Sorry. I needed the space to sort out all my applications.
Murray: Applications? Did someone say "applications"?! Please tell me you're filling out applications!
Erica: I really am. And it's all thanks to Mom.
Murray: Oh! Your dumb idea worked! Look at you!
Beverly: Say the words, Murray. Say, "Mama fixed it."
Murray: I'll say anything you want because my baby's applying to "Tic-Tac-Dough." What the [bleep] is this?

Erica: Don't worry. "Tic-Tac-Dough" is just my safety show. My dream is to get accepted into "Jeopardy!"
Murray: That's what this is about game shows?
Erica: Mom reminded me of the smart, confident girl I used to be, which is why I'm applying to all the top game shows in the country.
Murray: Game shows?!
Erica: Sadly, I got wait-listed for "Win, Lose or Draw," but "Wheel of Fortune" has rolling admissions.
Murray: Game shows.
Beverly: I'm sorry, this is your plan?
Erica: Well, I'm weighing my options. I know it'll be cheaper if I go to "Finders Keepers," which shoots in Philly. But I always envisioned myself going out of state.
Murray: Game shows, Bevy! Game shows!
Erica: At the very least, I can go to "Let's Make a Deal." Anyone with a costume can get in there. Although, their program won't really challenge me like "Jeopardy!" Wish me luck. Mwah!

Erica: Well, you know what? When I win on "Price is Right," I'm not sharing any of my cash or prizes from the Showcase Showdown. And you know what else? I'm gonna go on "Family Feud" all by myself.
Beverly: Oh, please! We all know you need us for that game.
Erica: I'll just tell them I'm an orphan and win it all on my own.
Beverly: Don't you dare! I got it. If you go on "Family Feud" without your beloved family, then that is the ultimate betrayal! Do not cry.
Erica: Oh, it's happening. And when I get my creepy kiss from Richard Dawson, you will be nowhere in sight!
Beverly: She's threatening to go on "Family Feud" by herself! She's gone too far.
Murray: You and I are upset about different things.

Adam: Dude, Matt's right. This girl's into you.
Barry: Oh, man. How'd I not see this? You're working for them, too!
Adam: What?! Come on!
Barry: Matt Bradley got to you. You're a double-agent mole sent here to make sure we lose Color Day.
Adam: Have you ever known me to care about an athletic competition at any time?
Barry: Maybe you've been faking a dislike of sports your whole life, knowing this moment would come! Maybe you're the greatest athlete this school has ever seen!
Adam: Look at my lazy eye, dude! I have no depth perception! None!
Barry: Or do you? [Barry throws an apple at Adam]
Adam: [groans]

Jeopardy Producer: Big congrats on making it this far. Now we just need to get to know you a bit better. So, tell me what you've been up to in the last year.
Erica: Me? Oh, man. [chuckles] So much stuff.
Jeopardy Producer: Okay. Care to elaborate on the stuff?
Erica: As of late, I have been trying out for "Jeopardy!"
Jeopardy Producer: Trying out for "Jeopardy!" can't really be a talking point for someone trying out for "Jeopardy!"
Erica: Very fair.
Jeopardy Producer: The last lady I interviewed she's an ornithologist, and she makes her own lavender soap.
Erica: Ooh, I use soap. Big soap gal right here.
Jeopardy Producer: Well, we already got a soap gal, and she doesn't just use it, she makes it. You get me?
Erica: God, yes, I get you. Look, I dropped out of school so that I could follow my dreams. And then it was, like, super hard. And now I have no job and no degree and no prospects. I had to borrow this suit from my mom. And you know how I said I use soap? At best, I shower twice a week, 'cause it's like, what's the point?! Just, please, you got to put me on "Jeopardy!" bro.
Jeopardy Producer: I'd say maybe try "Tic-Tac-Dough."

Barry: Leave it dark. No one on the blue team can ever see me consorting with the enemy.
Matt: Okey-dokey.
Barry: I've summoned you here today to seek your wisdom.
Matt: Oh. Seriously?
Barry: Look, I know I give you a lot of guff and always call you "Unbearable Matt Bradley," 'cause that's just me being a good leader. But truth is, you're the smartest, kindest, most thoughtful guy I know.
Matt: [chuckles] Stop, bro. You know how I get with this stuff.
Barry: I mean it! If anything, I say mean things to you 'cause [voice breaking] I love you, Matt Bradley.
Matt: Dude, don't.
Barry: I love how smart you are. How caring and [sniffles] wonderful you are.
Matt: Oh. This is too much.
Barry: I love your hair and your confidence and how you wear sandals and don't care who sees your little toes.
Matt: I mean, they're just feet, you know? Everyone's got 'em.

Adam: Gah!
Dave Kim: Chill, bro. It's me, Dave Kim. I'm the new mascot.
Adam: Since when, Dave Kim?
Carla: Since me.
Dave Kim: My girlfriend's super into it.
Carla: I got a thing for older men with giant heads.
Dave Kim: I can't feel anything, but I feel something great is happening.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] As for me, I was obsessed with "Press Your Luck," mostly because a cartoon Whammy would pop up and rob you of your cash and prizes. And like any game show geek, I became obsessed with trying to figure out a way to beat the game.
Murray: It's after midnight! What are you still doing up?
Adam: I cracked the Whammy code!
Murray: There is no Whammy code.
Adam: Look! The board is a numbered graph. Tiles four and eight never Whammy!
Murray: Listen to me, you didn't crack the code 'cause there isn't one.
Adam: Or is there?
Murray: No.

Andy: Oh, man. The dizzy bat race is the most physically challenging and humiliating of all Color Day events.
Barry: That's why the ancient Greeks dropped it from the Olympics.
Naked Rob: That's a cold, hard fact. I heard that on George Michael's "Sports Machine."

Barry: No! No! No, Matt Bradley, you can no longer utter those sacred letters 'cause you're a lousy yellow.
Andy: Yeah, that's the color of our enemy and Big Bird.
Naked Rob: Yellow sucks.
Andy: I hate you this week!
Matt: Come on, guys. The teams are selected randomly by birth month. There was nothing I could do!
Barry: We hear you. Also, screw you!
Matt: Aah! I come in peace!
Andy: We have no choice!
Naked Rob: This hurts me, too!
Matt: Stop! Why?!
Barry: You know why!