Beverly: Okay, then. Uh, let's start with something simple, a fitted sheet. If you can't fold a simple sheet, there's really no hope for you.
Barry: What the hell? Where does it begin, and where does it end?
Erica: Just give it to me, dude. I'll show you how to do it.
Beverly: Oh! Oh, no! I'm stuck. I'm stuck inside. I'm inside of the sheet. You got it?
Erica: No. Oh, wait.
Barry: Oh, no.
Erica: Grab the stretchy part. Nope, that's not the stretchy part.
Barry: I'm gonna die in here!

Pops: The year was 1943, and I was a prisoner of war behind enemy lines. As fate would have it, the camp was guarded by two bumbling fools who I outsmarted on a weekly basis. If it wasn't for me, Colonel Klink and his surprisingly lovable sidekick, Sergeant Schultz, would have won the war.

Pops: ... Yeah, I lied to you.
Adam: Balls, man! Big balls! I'm in real trouble here. I could be expelled.
Pops: Wait. That movie was for school?
Adam: Yes. I made a movie instead of writing a term paper.
Pops: Why do they keep letting you make movies instead of doing actual work?
Adam: It's a Quaker school. It's very loose.

Geoff: Erica?! Oh, my God. You're back! Did you come all this way to surprise me?!
Erica: Oh, man. Uh, I mean, hey, you.
Geoff: I've missed you so much!
Erica: Same. But also, I am kind of busy dealing with this thing.
Geoff: Oh, can I help?
Erica: Do you know how to do laundry?
Geoff: Totally. There's this laundry chute by my bedroom, and I just put all my dirty clothes in it. And then a few days later, boom, they're back in my drawer.

Pops: No. I told him those stories so I could spend time with him. Also, is this shirt snug? It It feels snug.
Doc: It's incredibly snug.
Pops: Would you mind if I..?
Doc: Be my guest.
Pops: Where was I again?
Doc: You were saying you misrepresented your life as "Hogan's Heroes" in order to impress your grandchild. What's going on now?
Pops: It's the helmet. Damn strap is so tight on my chin.
Doc: You served this country, sir. Just get comfortable.
Pops: Yeah, that's some sweet relief.
Doc: Okay, you know what? I'm gonna stop all this. I'm gonna let Adam redo his project. But just know, he has to really impress me this time.
Pops: Thank you for showing me the dignity that I deserve. At ease.

Erica: Morning, Mom. Fresh-brewed coffee?
Beverly: Yes, thanks, and what the [bleep] is this?

Beverly: Murray, how could you do this?
Murray: Make our children responsible adults? I don't know what got into me!

Other Erica: Wow. No more going home for Mommy to do your laundry?
Erica: Nope. I'll just be going home for her.

Pops: Ten-hut!
Doc: What's all this now?
Pops: Name's Albert Solomon, veteran of the Army Quartermaster Corps. I'm here to get my grandson Adam a second chance. Would you do that for a veteran?
Doc: Sir, while I appreciate your service, grades are non-negotiable.
Pops: I think you'll change that policy when you hear me out. Also, I don't remember this jacket being so hot. Would you mind if I..?
Doc: Please, by all means.
Pops: Ahh, that's better. Where was I?
Doc: You're here to defend Adam, even though he plagiarized the greatest show in television history.

Doc: All right, I hope you were all taking notes, 'cause it's term-paper time. I want 10 pages on World War II, not including bibliography.
Dave Kim: Would you prefer double-spaced or triple-spaced? Hey, that was close!
Doc: It's called a warning shot, fresh mouth. Always single-spaced.