Barry: Oh, yes. I just broke Mom's spirit, so now I can shower you. Get ready, bro. Shhhhhhhhhhh.
Adam: Why are you shushing me?
Barry: That's not a shush. That's a shower sound.
Adam: What are you talking about? This is a shower sound. Kwwwwwwwhhhhh!
Barry: That's the ocean, bro. A shower sounds like this. Shhhhhh!
Adam: You're making a fool out of yourself! Listen to me. Listen. Kwwwwaaahhhhhhh!
Barry: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Adam: Kwwwwaaahhhhhhh!
Barry: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Adam: Kwwwwaaahhhhhhh!
Barry: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Pops: Mur? Your wife is sitting in the broom closet, sniffing a baby blanket.
Murray: That's her thing. She sits in there and sniffs them to remind her of when our children were babies and not the worst.
Pops: And that doesn't bother you?
Murray: What do I know? I'm just the husband.

Murray: Bevy, I know it's hard with Adam going into high school, but you can't hide here in the closet forever.
Beverly: [Sighs] You're right. Just- Just take this thing and put it where I can never find it. It's time to let go.
Murray: It doesn't appear like you are.
Beverly: I'm letting go.
Murray: I shouldn't have to struggle like this.
Beverly: Set me free.
Murray: Al! Will you help me?! She's got superhuman strength!
Beverly: Take it! I'm handing it over.
Pops: She's got the forearms of a tennis pro.
Beverly: Take the blankie.
Murray: Put your back into it.
Beverly: Cure me of my sickness.

Dave Kim: No! Wait! No showers! My turtlenecks shrink when they get we-e-t!

Erica: Mr. Coach Mellor, can I go to the bathroom?
Geoff: [Whispering] Hey, why are you going to the bathroom with a shovel? Oh, is this a lady thing?

Murray: Are you kidding me?! 600 bucks for a broken pipe?!
Beverly: Well the headline here is, I saved Blankie. Sure, it's lost its Adam smell, but I'll just recharge it.
Murray: You can't recharge a blanket.
Beverly: Ho-ho! You bet I can! I'll just sneak it into his pillowcase or mix it in his hamper like a stew.
Murray: Don't do that. Don't make a hamper stew.

Dave Kim: No! This is my graduation turtleneck!

Erica: Damn it, I like stupid Geoff Schwartz.

Naked Rob: I'm gonna put in a naked picture of myself so I can look back and say, "Yeah, Naked Rob had it."

Barry: I'm gonna put myself in there. Boom! Livin' in the future.