Erica: Geoff, I think we fell asleep on the phone.
Geoff: Aww. We fell asleep together?
Erica: Son of a bitch!
Geoff: So much long-distance charges.
Erica: Crap! I'm the one who called you. This phone bill's gonna be insane.
Geoff: Oh, no. Your dad's gonna hate me so much. Money's his anger flash point.
Erica: We got to get off this phone, Geoff! Every second costs us. Hang up!
Geoff: No, you hang up!
Erica: No, you hang up!
Geoff: No, you hang up!
Erica: Geoff, hang up the phone!

Pops: Hello. Goldbergses' residence.
Erica: Pops don't say it's me, Erica.
Murray: Is that Erica?
Pops: Not Erica.
Erica: Play it cool. I need to talk to Dad about a gigantic phone bill, but only if he's not cranky. First off, has he eaten?
Pops: A little. Now a little more. He's really teasing that pickle.

Murray: Damn it, Al! Hand it over. All right, what'd you do?
Erica: Well, I've kind of been talking to Geoff a lot, so the next phone bill might possibly be a little bit, extremely high.
Murray: Eh. It's only money.
Erica: "It's only money"?
Pops: "It's only money"?
Murray: Yeah, it's only money.
Pops: This from the guy who made me bring my own cream cheese?

Erica: You're messing with me, right? This is just a weird mind game?
Murray: Look, I know long distance is hard. If you happen to talk on the phone a little bit more and it makes a big bill, so be it.
Pops: Take the "Yes" and hang up.
Erica: I'm scared, but I love you, and bye!

Coach Nick: You're not gonna leave here until I agree to come with you, are you?
Beverly: That's right. Beverly Goldberg never backs down. Also, I'm extremely intrusive. Orange slice? Those are meant to be shared.

Srini: I get it, you'll trust me when you're ready. In the meantime, read this.
Erica: "Depression: More Than A Case Of The Mondays"?
Srini: Mm-hmm. It happens to a lot of lonely, isolated shut-ins, like you.
Erica: I'm not depressed, Srini.
Srini: Of course not.
Erica: "Denial De Thing Dat You Have." Dear Lord, who writes this crap?

Murray: Why don't you come on down and get comfy cozy in my chair and call Erica.
Geoff: Really? 'Cause you said if I came within 5 feet of your chair that you'd punch my father.
Murray: [chuckles heartily] That's me, the funny dad havin' fun. Here's the phone. I'm gonna get you a cup of joe so you can talk to Erica all night long.
Geoff: Actually, she's at a frat party.
Murray: What? Why?
Geoff: Her 32-year-old sophomore RA called her a BORF, so she's gonna experience college a bit. Does this recline?
Murray: Get out of my chair! You're okay with Erica cavorting around Washington, D.C., with a bunch of drunken frat boys?
Geoff: Yeah, it's fine. I trust her.
Murray: No! You have to make sure that she's safe and she's committed to you and only you. Now get out of here.

Geoff: If my parents ask, I'm staying with Barry for the weekend. Thank you for believing in love!
Murray: No, no, no! That's the opposite of what I believe in!
Pops: Where are you going?
Murray: I got to drive like hell, beat that moron to Erica's door!
Pops: You need pants!
Murray: I'll get 'em on the way.

Murray: Well, that could've gone better.
Geoff: Yeah, sorry I couldn't go through with marrying your daughter, Mr. G.
Murray: Again, not what I wanted. But you're a nice boy, and you really do love Erica, so [grumbles] Maybe someday.
Geoff: Oh, man. That means you actually like me?
Murray: Just get in your tiny French clown car.

Coach Mellor: Hustle, hustle! Build that muscle! Let's go! I'm lookin' at you, Goldfarb.