Adult Adam: [v.o.] No issue was too delicate to draw.
Geoff: Ooh, fun. She's not just saying it outright.
Erica: Don't you dare guess, Geoff.
Geoff: Oh, is that a heart? A broken heart. Divorce? Wait, my parents are getting divorced? My mom's had enough?! Her wandering eye has caught up with her thirst for more?!
Beverly: Geoff, no, I'm trying to tell you that my Uncle Marty had a triple bypass this morning and now it's touch-and-go, but thanks for that, Geoff.
Barry: Yeah!
Erica: You could be more sensitive, babe.
Geoff: What?

Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was February 3rd, 1980-something, and Erica and Geoff were enjoying a perk of college life... going to the mall in the middle of the day.
Geoff: Okay, remember, we're looking for one of these, but in new.
Erica: Got it. The exact same shirt you always buy. Again.
Geoff: This is a rugby shirt, Erica. That might not mean anything to you, but in some parts of the world, I think it might be a sport.

Erica: Anyway, try on the hat.
Geoff: That is a cap hewn for a more confident man. I could never put that... [Erica puts the hat on Geoff] [gasps] Whoa.
Whoa! Are we in London right now?
Erica: You know what? You look pretty damn good.
Geoff: Really? I'm not so sure it's me.
Erica: It could be. This is the '80s, Geoff. People are gonna look back on our fashion and say, "They got it right."
Geoff: Well, in that case... [Cockney accent] Allo, luv! Did you catch the footie match on the telly?
Erica: I'm into what's on your head, but not what's coming out of your face. Let's roll.
Geoff: Off we pop.
Erica: Stop it.
Geoff: Right-o.

Geoff: I like my hat, Bar. In fact, it makes me feel more like a Geoffrey than a Geoff. Maybe I'll go by that for a while.
Brett: Hey, dig the cap. Very GQ.
Geoff: Whoa. The magazine with multiple pictures of Pierce Brosnan reading in a hammock?

Murray: I hate Formica Mike. He's supposed to be a 50-50 partner, and he never listens to anything I say.
Geoff: I could tell by your sad, hollow gaze that this was about a relationship.
Murray: I'm not in a relationship with Formica Mike, moron.
Geoff: It's a business relationship, and just like any new relationship, there's always a lot of kinks to work out.
Erica: Geoff's right. It took us a long time to establish our dynamic of me being me and Geoff being the bucket I dump all my emotions into.
Geoff: And what works great for us might not work for you. The key is communication.

Geoff: Don't listen to Barry. Tell the King how you're feeling. Conquer him with emotional intimacy.
Bill Lewis: Pick something, Mur! I can't stand that your pants are still on! Let me just pop off that...
Murray: Leave my pants alone! I'm gonna go and do what Erica's beau says.
Geoff: He's doing my thing! Although he's yet to learn my name, so it's kind of a mixed bag for the win.

Geoff: Isn't this fun?
Erica: It's certainly red.
Barry: Oh, hell, yes!
Geoff: Wait, you got one, too?
Barry: Great minds.
Erica: What the hell are you gonna do with two pairs of lips?
Barry & Geoff: Make-out sesh!
Geoff: Ooh, your lips are so pillowy.
Barry: I'm never gonna vacuum under you.
Geoff: I wanna lay on you all day and read.
Erica: I'm never gonna be okay again.
Barry & Geoff: Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
Geoff: Why?

Adult Adam: [v.o.] My dad realized he needed to be a better friend to Vic, so he turned to an expert on the subject.
Geoff: Hey, Mr. G. Don't mind me. I'm just waiting for the ol' ball and chain, a.k.a. your daughter. I struggle with small talk.
Murray: But you're good with big talk, right?
Geoff: Well, if you mean compassion and understanding, then, yeah, I'm your fella.
Murray: Cop a squat. Come on.
Geoff: Wow. Is this an overture of friendship? You know, I always pictured us on a horseback trail ride or building a log cabin together, but I'll take it.
Murray: Yes, horses and logs.

Barry: [enters] Ugh! The worst day ever!
Geoff: I'm listening, Bar. Tell your amigo Geoff what's wrong.
Barry: Nobody signed my petition to make nunchucking an Olympic sport! Now I'll have to win gold at something dumb, like swimming.
Geoff: So nobody signed your petition, and now your only Olympic hope is dumb swimming.
Barry: You get it. [exhales] My dismay is subsiding 'cause I feel super heard right now.
Geoff: Maybe this will also help.
Barry: "Hang in There!"?
Geoff: I saw it and thought of you.
Barry: 'Cause I'm like the jacked kitten whose perseverance will inevitably be rewarded! Thanks, Geoff! You're a great friend. [chuckles]
Geoff: And that's how it's done.

Jean Jacobs: Ladies, your Mr. Ships Ahoy finalists. [cheering and applause]
Geoff: You know what, Bar? I'm actually really excited about this thing. I-I think I could win this.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Until he saw the stone-cold hunks he'd be competing against.
Geoff: Oh, no. Their arms are bigger than my legs, and their legs have muscles on them I didn't even know existed.
Barry: That's an optical illusion, Geoff. Everyone looks bigger up close.