[Erica plays notes on the keyboard]
Adult Adam: [v.o.] My game was writing itself. I even got an annoying video game theme song, thanks to my aimless sister.
Erica: Wait. That's it! I got my hit song! Banana, banana Banana, banana Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. That sucks.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yep, the Goldbergs would become an actual computer game. But was the world ready?
Murray: Bevy! I forgot to take my shoes off, and now they're stuck! Damn it, I'm pants-trapped again!
Adam: Eh, we'll tone it down for America, make 'em more likable.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Ah, the computers of the '80s. Cutting-edge machines with badass games like Oregon Trail and Castle Wolfenstein. The graphics were state-of-the-art and mind-blowing. I got so obsessed with computer games, I even turned to the black market.
Adam: Psst, Atkins. Word in the halls is you got the hookup.
Johnny Atkins: Damn straight. I got bootleg copies of Congo Bongo, Zork, and the holy grail of video games.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] And there it was, the one computer game that every teenage dude in the '80s dreamed of playing.
Adam: Leisure Suit Larry. The most coveted floppy known to boykind.
Johnny Atkins: This game's got booze, babes, and bawdy bedroom situations.
Adam: I'm tantalized but terrified.
Johnny Atkins: You should be. We could go to jail in all 54 states just for playing it. And it's yours for 500 bucks.
Adam: I've got five bucks and a gently used Ring Pop.
Johnny Atkins: Deal.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] And so I spent the next 28 hours guiding Leisure Suit Larry to the promised land.
Adam: This is it! Larry's finally gonna get lucky.
Dave Kim: When we started this game, we were mere boys. But we're about to become men! - (MOUSE CLICKS) Adam: ["The Stars and Stripes Forever" plays] Fireworks? Where's the naughty stuff? I traded a used Ring Pop for this.
Dave Kim: I'm back to being a boy again! Which, honestly, is fine. I wasn't ready.
Adam: Anyone here wondering where in the world Carmen Sandiego is?

Mr. Goulding: [flatly] Now we hit the "enter" key and enjoy what the last hour of programming has brought us. And... Wow. I know, it's truly exciting. Now it's your turn. Your final project will be designing your own computer game.
Dave Kim: Did he just say something interesting?
Adam: I can't tell 'cause his voice sounds like a robot designed to put other robots to sleep.

Jackie: Let's break it down. What do all the best video games have?
Dave Kim: This is so hard. Creativity isn't valued in my household.

Murray: Bevy, the only thing your dad cares about more than gambling is doing what he's told not to do. Let him go to the casino.
Beverly: Wait, that's it! When he does, we'll trail him and catch him losing big, and then he'll have to admit he's got a problem. Good idea, Mur.
Murray: On your way back, fill my car up with some gas. Thank you.
Beverly: Fine. Bill will help me spy on my father.
Bill Lewis: Wha? No, no, no. I just came over for some salsa. Mur, say something.
Murray: Get me a funnel cake. I love funnel cakes.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] And so my mom dragged Bill to Atlantic City to see just how lucky Lucky Al really was. Turns out, the old guy still had it.
Bill Lewis: Hot dog. You're wrong, Bev. The man's as lucky as ever. Nope. He's betting his watch. You're right. He's a degenerate.

Erica: Nailed what about me? What! Tell me now!
A;Sister Erica, how would you like to be in a state-of-the-art computer game?
Erica: No! Take me out of that, or I'll punch your lazy eye straight!

Barry: Well, looks like it's game over.
Adam: Or is it? With just a few clicks, it's goodbye, sister Erica, and hello, brother Eric.
Barry: If that's an option, then change me, too!
Adam: What's to change? You're perfect.
Barry: I know that. But the game says otherwise. Look at that spaz run computer-me is doing. I do not run like that!
Adam: Yeeeaaah, except that you do.
Barry: No, I don't! Make me stop!
Adam: You're just making him run faster.
Barry: Then I refuse to grant you the rights to my likeness forever.
Adam: That's the run right there. How does he not see it?

Pops: Hey, Pumpkin! Guess who just cleaned out the Tropicana again?
Beverly: Dad, your luck is incredible. I just wish there was a way for you to win more without schlepping all the way to A.C.
Bill Lewis: I wish, too, for this. Yes.
Beverly: You mean my dad should start placing all his bets with your great, new bookie Bettin' Joe?
Pops: He sounds great! $100 on a six-team parlay Jets, Lions, Bucs, Saints, Oilers, and Packers.
Bill Lewis: There you go! If you're gonna bet six teams, they might as well be the worst.