Murray: Why do I still see morons?
Erica: 'Cause your unstable wife didn't send in our checks for student housing so she can keep us at home.
Beverly: But I swear I sent them in.
Barry: Then why is Flavor Overdrive spittin' fresh flows and hi-ya-ing boards with G-Licious and not me?
Pops: I recognize none of those words.

Erica: He's freaking out, but I'm not. Now that I have a second chance at college, I will not let you ruin this year for me. I'll be upstairs studying.
Barry: Do not expect that measured, mature reaction from me.
Beverly: But I didn't do what you're saying. Unless... Oh, God. Is my mom brain so strong, I did it subconsciously? Is that even possible?
Murray: I'd say probable. I just saw a 20/20 where a lady punched a lion in the face to save her kids.
Beverly: I'd punch a million jungle cats for my babies.
Murray: There you have it. You did the bad thing. I say we do a gum ball puzzle. Come on! Let's get together and gum ball it up.
Barry: Gum balls? I'm in real trouble over here, and this guy's talking about gum balls? Mother, you need to fix this now!
Beverly: I will, Schmoo. Conscious Momma will clean up Subconscious Momma's mess. We're both leaving right now.

Pops: Mur, I'm not sure you're reading the room with all the puzzle talk.
Murray: So, the kids live at home a little longer. What's the big whoop?
Pops: Big whoop? You've wanted those kids outta here forever. I've got a hunch you're up to something.
Murray: Me? What could I be up to?
Pops: I don't know, but I'm gonna solve this puzzle, right after I solve this puzzle.

Dave Kim: So, when are you gonna lock that down?
Adam: You've gotten very aggressive since Carla came into your life.
Dave Kim: She likes me sassy, but this is an incredible opportunity for you. Don't you like her?
Adam: Of course I like her, Dave Kim. But now she's super cool and kind of looks like a flight attendant, and I'm still me. Plus, she told me she just wants to be friends.
Dave Kim: Friends? I saw the way she hugged you! I thought I was watching 9 1/2 Weeks, man.
Adam: You've seen the kink noir drama 9 1/2 Weeks?
Dave Kim: I'm in a relationship with an adult lady, and that lady is stealing cable from her neighbor.
Adam: You know, she did lightly tap my upper back when we hugged.
Dave Kim: I know. It was like Body Heat, which I also watched and enjoyed.

Beverly: Hi, Dean Dean. Beverly Goldberg.
Dean: Not Dean Dean. Just a man named Dean who... Happens to be a dean.
Beverly: Dean Dean, these are the housing checks for Barry and Erica Goldberg. Make sure Barry's room is no further than 30 feet from the bathroom. He's got a bit of a fussy tummy.
Dean: Well, wait, these were due months ago.
Beverly: Which is when my conscious mind sent them in.
Dean: Your conscious mind?
Beverly: Oh, it's a teeny possibility that my subconscious mind did not send them in.
Dean: So, you didn't send them in?
Beverly: Or it's also a teeny possibility that your conscious mind received the checks, but that your subconscious mind destroyed them.
Dean: Why would it do that?
Beverly: I don't know. Why would a man named Dean seek out a career in deaning? [chuckles lightly] We can't control our subconscious minds, Dean Dean. The point is, I forgive you. Have a great year.

Murray: It's nacho time.
Barry: Wait, you made food? For us?
Erica: What's your game, man?
Murray: Can't a man make a traditional Mexican snack for his kids?
Barry: Oh, no! Those aren't beans! What's in my mouth?
Murray: I don't know. I just got a can out of the pantry.
Erica: I think those are whole cranberries.
Barry: Cranberries? The Mexican people don't work with tart bog fruit! What did you do?
Murray: Just eat around the bog fruit!

Dana: Adam?
Adam: Yep. And former Genesis front man Peter Gabriel. Damn it. Batteries. Okay, imagine In Your Eyes is playing as I present to you... Laser tag.
Dana: Is that the baby we took care of?
Adam: "Hi, Mommy. I wuv you." Okay, that's weird.
Dana: All of this is weird. Why is it happening? Eh... You know what? Hang on. I'll be right out.
Adam: Oh, no. Stay put. I come to you via trellis.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] This was it. Just like old times, I'd climb Dana's trellis for an epic romantic gesture. It was my second chance at love, and I was sure it would be twice as magical.
Adam: Dana Caldwell, would you... Uh-oh. Ahh!
Dana: Adam!
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Unfortunately, I didn't realize I was twice as big.

Beverly: I had no idea how you felt about missing the children.
Murray: Neither did I. And then bags started getting packed and posters came off the walls, and it became too real.
Beverly: All you've ever wanted was for the kids to go to college.
Murray: Yeah. I put so much focus on them leaving, I never thought of them not being here.
Beverly: Oh, Murray.
Murray: I just wish I would have spent more time with them.
Beverly: It's not too late.

Erica: Okay, I'm only gonna do this once.
Barry: Come at me. [Erica punches Barry in the stomach] Oh! Ow! You're supposed to warn me! That's how Houdini died!

Barry: I knew she couldn't fight her excessive love! She's garbage!
Geoff: Erica, you forgot your Caboodle!
Murray: Just toss it out.
Geoff: [crashing sound]Oh, no!
Murray: Hey, Schwartz, head in.
Erica: Dad, you'll hurt him!
Murray: Window's going up!
Geoff: I'll miss you so much! Ow! This is not the goodbye I imagined!