Beverly: Hello. By any chance, are you Erica Goldberg's R.A.?
Srini: Yes. I'm Srini. You must be Erica's mother. Don't worry. Your daughter's in great hands.
Beverly: Ah, that is so good to hear. Now shut your [bleep] mouth and do everything I'm about to tell you.
Srini: Oh, dear.
Beverly: You might be the other kid's R.A., but when it comes to my little pickle, you're me. It's your job to see that she's fed, well-rested, and regular.
Srini: Actually, I'm pretty sure my job is to hand out pamphlets and make sure no one's being loud after 10:00.
Beverly: Not anymore. Here's a variety of medicines to help with Erica's allergies and sour tummy. Now, if flu season comes early this year, how's your chicken soup game?
Srini: Soup's really not my area. I'm more of a resident advisor.
Beverly: You have a freezer in your mini-fridge. Keep this in there in case of emergencies.
Srini: I can take out the tiny little ice tray, but I'm still not sure that would fit.
Beverly: You have given me zero confidence that you are up for this important task.
Srini: I agree. I'm not up to it.