Barry: Your prayers have been answered! Big Tasty is finally joining the football team.
Coach Mellor: We've been through this, Goldberg. Your mommy won't allow it.
Barry: Well, my mommy's going through a time-consuming midlife crisis, so now I get to chase my dream.
Coach Mellor: Well, our team could use some of that Goldberg moxie. What are you playing these days?
Barry: Oh, I play it all. You'll probably have to diagram some new plays to take advantage of my amazing skill set. May I?
Coach Mellor: Normally, I'd say no, but I want to see where this goes.
Barry: I call it the "Hail Barry." In this play, I both throw and catch the winning touchdown as time expires.
Coach Mellor: That literally cannot be done.
Barry: And yet I've done it against my brother Adam over seven times.