Officer Puchinski: But I suppose you can start with a neighborhood watch. You know, pick a captain and walk around the neighborhood.
Beverly: Well, then it's settled. [chuckles] Everyone will sleep safely tonight knowing that Captain Beverly Goldberg is your champion of peace...
Jane: I'll do it.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was our neighbor, Jane Bales, the one person in town who was even more Beverly Goldberg than Beverly Goldberg.
Beverly: Oh. Jane. How cute. I think, though, everybody agrees I should be captain because Beverly Goldberg gets things done.
Jane: Except the person who really gets things done is Jane Bales. [puts coffee mug down]
Beverly: [laughs] Well, she gets 'em done without a coaster [chuckling] apparently. Let me tell you how Bevy G gets things done. I'm the kinda lady who will return a bathing suit without a receipt.
Jane: Big whoop. I returned a bathing suit without a receipt after wearing it for a year. [all gasp]
Beverly: I once returned just an elastic waistband to a store I didn't even buy it from because that is what kinda nightmare I am.
Jane: I returned a one-piece I didn't even have in my possession to a bank. Oh, yeah, I am a walking demon on this Earth. [all gasp]