Beverly Goldberg: I Have Failed as a Mother Page 2 of 3
Failing as a mother is Beverly Goldberg's greatest nightmare, but also her most powerful guilt card for when her children threaten to go against her wishes.
Quote from Beverly in Who Are You Going To Telephone?
Beverly: Hey, your brother is a sweet, smart, handsome boy, and this Lexy Bloom would be lucky to date him. Lucky.
Erica: Yeah, and I'll be sure to remind him of that when she tears his heart out tonight.
Beverly: Why must you two delight in each other's misery? I have failed as a mother.
Quote from Beverly in Crazy Calls
Beverly: Why did you let them go?
Mr. Glascott: They called my schmoo a nerd. That's not on them. That's more on your schmoo for being one.
Beverly: Hey, only I get to call my schmoo a schmoo.
Mr. Glascott: The point is, Adam and his gang of computer dorks don't even eat in the lunchroom. That means they're not even on the social ladder. You've got to do something about this. If you don't help Adam, then you have failed as a mother.
Beverly: But that is my greatest nightmare.
Quote from Murray in The Opportunity of a Lifetime
Barry: Wow. This is just so typical of you. Beverly Goldberg, always stepping on her kids' dreams.
Beverly: No, I do the opposite. Everyone knows that. Murray, back me up here.
Murray: I have to side with Bar on this one. You know, if I don't support his talent, then I have failed as a father.
Beverly: No, that's the thing that I say. "I failed as a mother."
Barry: You said it, not me.
Quote from Beverly in The Lost Boy
Beverly: Baby, if you don't eat, then I have failed as a mother.
Quote from Beverly in Muscles Mirsky
Beverly: Crack rock! Crack rock! (Sniffles) Erica's gonna take crack rocks.
Murray: Erica what?
Beverly: I read it in her diary. Not the decoy, but the real one. Her friends are participating in crack rock, and now Erica is also going to participate in crack rock.
Murray: Can't you just trust Erica enough to know that she's not gonna go out and eat crack with her friends?
Beverly: No! If my little baby so much as touches one piece of crack, then I have failed as a mother.
Murray: You usually say that for dramatic effect, but I agree with you on this one.
Quote from Beverly in The Other Smother
Barry: Fired! You're fired as campaign manager! I have just fired you!
Beverly: You can't fire me. I'm your mother.
Barry: Then I fire you as my mother!
Beverly: If you fire me as your mother, then I have failed as a mother.
Quote from Beverly in Call Me When You Get There
Beverly: He's not in the emergency room, or the police station, or the roller rink, or the batting cages, or any of the four ice cream shops in the green zone. And I have failed as a mother.
Murray: You're good at other things.
Quote from Adam in 12 Tapes for a Penny
Adam: Wow, you really have failed as a mother.
Beverly: Hey. I'm the only one allowed to say that.
Adam: Well, it's true. You punished Erica for something I did, almost turning her to a life a crime. If that ain't failing, I don't know what is.
Quote from Adam in Breakfast Club
Beverly: If you don't sit at this table, then I have failed as a mother and an educator.
Erica: You are not an educator! You are just a crazy lady in a worm sweater!
Beverly: Okay, you are walking on very dangerous ground right now. This worm is the only child I have left.
Adam: No one wants your sweater, and no one wants you!
Quote from Beverly in The Dynamic Duo
Mr. Glascott: Look, you folks can relax because ol' Glascott has the solution.
Murray: Good.
Erica: Thank God.
Beverly: I have failed as a mother.