Matt: Uh, we've been talking and feel you could be a little more... Respectful of our stuff.
Barry: When am I disrespectful, stupid Matt Bradley?
Naked Rob: For instance, you constantly use my toothbrush.
Barry: To clean the shower, so you're welcome.
Matt: And every time I get home from work, you "ninja surprise" me with a bo staff to the belly.
Barry: I thought you were a burglar.
Matt: Six times?
Andy: And you ate my allergy medicine.
Barry: I regret that one. Tasted real bad.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] And so, the next day, the JTP played the meanest prank ever... They pretended Barry didn't exist.
Barry: Morning, JTP. Who wants to start this day by tossing this bowling ball I found off the roof?
Matt: Can we help you, stranger? You seem to have wandered into the wrong house.
Barry: Don't be stupid, stupid Matt Bradley. It's me.
Naked Rob: And you are...
Barry: What? It's me. Big Tasty. Your charismatic and angry leader who doesn't like to be questioned before his morning Hawaiian Punch.
Andy: Take it easy, okay? W- We just don't know you.
Barry: Of course you do, you ship-in-a-bottle captain, Andy. Look at the photo of us inside the... What? Where's my gorgeous face and rugged features?
Naked Rob: Not in that picture of the J.A.G... The Jenkintown Association of Guys.

Johnny: Johnny Atkins is second-guessing his role in this hateful prank.
Barry: Prank? What's he talking about?
Johnny: I'm talking about how your closest friends bought me tacos to question your existential value in the world.
Barry: I don't know what that means, but... JTP?
All: [downbeat] JTP.
Matt: Bud, it was a prank, like how you sullied my under-khakis. Uh, now we're even.
Barry: I merely wore your most intimate apparel. You stole my place in this world.
Naked Rob: The important thing is, we can resume our lives and put this to rest.
Barry: Opposite. I'm coming for you guys. It may not be today or tomorrow, 'cause I got some stuff to do, but it'll be sometime convenient for me, probably Wednesday, and it will ruin your lives forever.

[fantasy:]
Barry: This isn't where I fell asleep. Oh, no! Have I been gently kidnapped?
Pops: Your body is right where you left it. You're dreaming of what the world would be like if you didn't exist.
Barry: This isn't the JTP pad. It has no holes in the wall.
Pops: Of course there's no holes. You weren't here to punch them. [door opens]
Matt: Go for Mr. Bradley.
Barry: "Mr. Bradley"? Who are you, your stepdad that officially adopted you? Nerd.
Pops: He can't hear you. And he's now a successful Gap businessman. Without you making him late for work, he became Worldwide Head of Jean Shorts.
Matt: Buy! Sell! Business!

[fantasy:]
Andy: Oh, hey, there, friend. How's the weather up here, you ask? [chuckling] Why, it's great, because life for the very tall always is.
Barry: [laughs] Who stretched Andy?
Pops: No one. Without you stealing his lunch, Andy had a growth spurt. He's been helping people grab things off the top shelf ever since.

Adam: Barry? Now you're in on this?
Barry: I heard we had a new way of getting information out of you, and we need to know... Where's that deli that lets you taste the meat before you buy it?
Adam: It's the one on Main Street.
[montage:]
Barry: Is breakfast truly the most important meal of the day?
Barry: Is a frog an amphibian or a reptile?
Barry: Does Matt Bradley need to go to the doctor for this?
Barry: Sorry. Forgot what I was gonna ask. Put the hood back on him.

[fantasy:]
Naked Rob: [enters] Afternoon, gents.
Matt & Andy: Gorgeous Rob!
Barry: "Gorgeous" Rob? You're Naked Rob, and that's all you'll ever be.
Pops: Without you to pants Rob in second grade, Naked Rob never came to be. He built his identity based on a love of high-quality Italian menswear.
Naked Rob: Hope you guys don't mind. I brought a party sub. And a party.
Andy: It's our wives, who cherish us not just for our success, but for our high self-esteem.
Matt: Let's kiss them and watch football.
Andy: Yeah.
Barry: No! No! You don't have wives! You have me! And I matter! I make your lives better!

Adam: You were last my hope. Who am I supposed to turn to now?
Barry: Chill. I'll take you to my sports mentor, Coach Mellor.
Adam: But Coach Mellor disappeared to follow his dream to coach wrestling to adult men in the woods. We'll never find him.
Barry: And yet we will. I'll tell the police he robbed us at gunpoint. Then they'll have to find him for us.
Adam: Or we could just ask his brother.
Barry: Not as fun, but I guess.
Adam: Is that one of those pickles you threw at me earlier?
Barry: When you get to college, you'll learn the value of a pickle.

Beverly: I just wanted one evening where we're all together in a focused seven-hour window.
Erica: Seven hours? That's almost half a night's sleep.
Adam: And aren't you forgetting we never actually play 'cause we can never agree on a game?
Beverly: While I do agree we've had some setbacks...
Pops: Setbacks? In a fit of rage, Barry kicked the Operation game and needed a real operation.
Barry: They sewed my toe back on, and now I have to think extra hard when I want to wiggle it.
Beverly: Despite Barry's zombie toe, we can still have a good night.

Beverly: Game night?
Barry: You know it, girl. I even brought Connect Four so that we can connect two.