‘A Wrestler Named Goldberg’
Season 1, Episode 22 - Aired May 6, 2014
When Barry is offered a place on the varsity wrestling team, Murray and Pops know that safety-crazed Beverly would never let her snuggle monster take part. With their help, Barry lies to his mother about joining the school play. Meanwhile, Adam is excited by the upcoming premiere of Star Wars Return of the Jedi, but he needs somebody to camp out in line with him. Adam blackmails Erica with an embarrassing video from her days as Star Wars fan. When Erica leaves the lines to hang out with her friends, Adam's hopes of seeing the premiere are dashed.
Quote from Murray
Barry: No, I'm not moving on until he says he believes in me.
Murray: Fine. I believe you can drop rice from an imaginary helicopter.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: What part in Annie did you get?
Barry: What's "Annie"?
Beverly: The musical. There's fliers all around school. Who are you playing?
Barry: Umm, I'm this guy!
Beverly: What is that? What are you doing? What guy is that?
Barry: I'm the guy.
Beverly: You're Daddy Warbucks?
Barry: Sure.
Beverly: You're Daddy [beep] Warbucks?!
Quote from Barry
Coach Mellor: What are you doing with the folding chair?
Barry: You said to practice our take-downs. The chair-bash is my character's patented move.
Coach Mellor: Your character?
Barry: Yeah. For the WWF. They call me Goldberg. My back story is my parents gave me up for adoption, and then I grew up on the rough streets of Philly. I'm sensitive, so ladies love me, but I also have a raging side, so men can relate, too.
Quote from Coach Mellor
Coach Mellor: But this isn't the WWF. And as someone whose parents really did give him up for adoption, I can promise you it's a lot more emotionally complicated than that. Now, put the chair back.
Quote from Murray
Pops: I'm kind of wondering if this whole thing is worth it.
Murray: It is what it is.
Quote from Murray
Murray: Okay, let me show you a real move. This was my specialty back in the day. You use your opponent's weight and strength against him.
Barry: You smell like sandwich.
Murray: Shut up.
Quote from Beverly
Murray: Yes, he's on the wrestling team, but that's a good thing. I was on the wrestling team, and look how fine I turned out.
Beverly: [laughs maniacally] How dare you go behind my back and encourage my delicious baby muffin to lie to me.
Quote from Adam
Erica: You honestly want to know why I left? I didn't want my friends to see me stand in line at some space movie that I got blackmailed into by my dumb kid brother.
Adam: I blackmailed you because it's the only way to get you to spend time with me. And I didn't used to just be your dumb kid brother. I used to be your friend.
Quote from Erica
Adam: I told you I'm not seeing the Sunday matinee. It's like wearing somebody else's wedding dress.
Erica: What does that even mean?
Quote from Erica
Erica: We're going today.
Adam: How?
Erica: Well, I told the theater manager what happened, and he was incredibly sympathetic. He's gonna sneak us in.
Adam: Really?
Erica: I also said I would go to dinner with him and his grandparents. I really wish I would have just stayed in line.