John Calabasas: Hi. Are you headed into First National Bank?
Erica: Um, yeah?
John Calabasas: Because I can literally save you tens of seconds by handling all your important banking matters right here at this folding table.
Erica: 9th National Bank? Is that a thing?
John Calabasas: It sure is. We may be ninth, but we always put our customers first at this bank. Not actually a bank, not FDIC insured.
Erica: Doesn't matter. I need a credit card, and I need one fast.
John Calabasas: Normally, it takes about two weeks. But I can see you're not here for any weird reason.
Erica: Definitely not.
John Calabasas: So what's your name?
Erica: It's uh...
John Calabasas: See, people don't normally pause this much on the most basic question there is.
Erica: It's Beverly. Beverly Goldberg.
John Calabasas: Perfect, Beverly. One moment, please. [on the pay phone] Hola. Como estas? Es Juan Calabasas en la oficina de Jenkintown. Una pregunta, por favor. Es Beverly Goldberg una criminal? Bueno! Bueno, bueno. Muchas gracias. [to Erica] Beverly, I have great news. Your credit is excelente, so I just need to see a photo ID.
Erica: Yeah, um, it's...
John Calabasas: Hurry up, please.
Erica: Oh, there it is.
John Calabasas: Well, your thumb is over the first name, but I can see your last name is Goldberg, so let's get you that credit card.
Erica: Great! Great! And I would like to take a cash advance made out to Erica Goldberg.
John Calabasas: Whatever you need, Beverly.
Erica: Bueno.

Adam: Look at these awesome graphics, Lucky. Classic Atari. Let's do this. Dude, look at E.T. go slowly.
He's moving slowly. Oop, fell in a little pit there. No big deal. I'll get him out. Mm. Damn it! Balls! Seriously! Not again! How is E.T. supposed to get home if he keeps falling in these pits? I just died in the pit. E.T. is dead. Oh! None of this is from the movie.

Barry: Father, I've come for the money you owe me. I'll take it in thousand dollar bills. Go.
Murray: What's this about?
Barry: Marvin's stock went through the roof and I got jack.
Murray: Well, I did not see that coming. Well, even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Barry: This has nothing to do with telling time!

Murray: Look, I only took your check 'cause I was trying to protect you.
Barry: From what? Having an amazing life with a personal sandwich chef and a top hat made of diamonds?
Murray: Trust me, you don't want to live the crazy life of Marvin.
Barry: Oh, your boring old life is so great.
Murray: I got no complaints.
Barry: You should! All you do is take off your pants, watch TV, and raise a bunch of ungrateful, awful kids.
Murray: You're one of those ungrateful kids. You're insulting yourself, you moron!

Erica: So what's this awesome company that we're investing in?
Barry: They sell these electronic computer thingies.
Geoff: And what exactly are the "thingies"?
Marvin: They're called Ataris, and that's Japanese for "sure thing". [on the phone] Yeah, hello, buy all the Atari stock. Do it! Thank you, Jessica.
Barry: Atari? Why does that sound so familiar?

Adam: Legend says they're burying all the unsold copies in the desert.
Barry: Why didn't you tell us about that game, nerd?
Adam: It is literally all I've been talking about!
Erica: You know we don't listen when you speak.
Barry: She's right. This is all your fault. Get him!

Pops: Oh, no, the giant man is eating all the turkey. It never even got to me.
Coach Mellor: This is why I don't invite you anywhere!
Coach Nick: You know I need a constant stream of protein!

Geoff: Happy Thanks- [grunts]
Pops: Go around the back.
Geoff: Something's blocking the door.
Pops: It's me! Go around!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] And I think it's gonna be a long long time And so, we went back to our usual Thanksgiving. When I think back to my family sitting around that table, everyone together happy and healthy those were the best times of my life. Truth is, I couldn't see it then, but those are the richest memories I'm most thankful for.

Barry: Did you just bail out Uncle Marvin?
Murray: Yeah, he's family. It's what we do.
Barry: Well, I don't want to be the guy who you always have to bail out.
Murray: Who do you want to be?
Barry: You.