Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘You've Got to Be a Football Hero’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: You've Got to Be a Football Hero

412. You've Got to Be a Football Hero

Aired November 29, 1993

Will competes with a star football player for Jackie's attention at a party.

Quote from Will

Will: You know, so when I was at Notre Dame, right, they put me in the last play of the last game, right. Of course, when Hollywood got a hold of my story they made it a White dude.

Rate

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: Don't worry, Ash, there are plenty of men in the sea.
Ashley: You mean fish in the sea.
Hilary: No, I mean men, fish don't own yachts.

Quote from Geoffrey

Geoffrey: Ah, Miss Ashley, ready for your big date?
Ashley: Not really.
Philip: What's the matter, honey?
Ashley: Did you ever have one of those days when you just don't feel pretty?
Geoffrey: No.

Quote from Will

Will: Guess what I have in my hand.
Jackie: Do I have to call security?
Will: Before you have me tossed in the clink you might wanna check it out. Uncle Phil's floor seats to the Lakers. So, what's up, I'll pick you up like 6, 6: 15?
Jackie: Will, I appreciate you asking, especially three hours before game time, but I'm kind of dating someone right now.
Will: You dating somebody right now? Well, how come I'm the last to know?
Jackie: I have my reasons.
Will: Oh, I get it, I get it. You're embarrassed. Dude is probably some snaggletoothed, pie-faced, snausage-lipped, hunchback...
Jackie: It's Hank Farley.
Will: Heisman Trophy winning fool.

Quote from Will

Jackie: Tonight's Hank's 21 st birthday party.
Will: Hey, Jackie, hey, come on, girl now, you know that Hank Farley is not your type. I'm saying, you strip away the shoulder pads and the muscles and the dimples and what you got?
Jackie: You.

Quote from Hilary

Ashley: I don't know what to do. Robert's due here at 8 and I can't do anything with my hair nothing looks good on me and I feel fat.
Philip: Oh, Ashley, you look adorable.
Ashley: Oh, that's real comforting coming from my father. That's it, I'm not going.
Hilary: Ashley, wait. Look, your date won't be here for another hour. Let's go upstairs and I'll give you some Hilary Banks beauty tips. Trust me, I know exactly what you're feeling.
Ashley: You mean, you've had nights where you felt fat and ugly?
Hilary: Okay, so I don't know exactly what you mean.

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: Daddy, I hope you're sitting down. Oh. Well, we all knew that Ashley was, well, cute... But with my help, she has turned into an absolute knockout. So it gives me great pleasure to present: The new Ashley Banks.
[Ashley comes down the stairs in an outfit almost identical to Hilary's, complete with a hat and a handbag]
Hilary: Well, isn't she the most gorgeous creature you've ever seen?
Philip: Well, honey she looks like you.
Hilary: I know. Isn't it great? I can't wait for Mom to see her. When is she coming home?
Philip: I'm not sure. She's bowling next door at the Spellings. Ashley, sweetheart, are you comfortable dressed like this?
Ashley: Well, Daddy, it all comes down to what Robert thinks.
Hilary: Ashley, aren't we forgetting something? [Ashley giggles] I am so proud. Don't move, I need a picture of this. I'll go get my camera. [both giggle]

Quote from Ashley

Philip: Well, Ashley, you look very nice.
Ashley: Nice? I look like Honey, I Shrunk the Hilary.
Philip: If you don't like what Hilary did to you, why don't you tell her so?
Ashley: I can't. It would hurt her feelings. There's only one thing I can do. [on the phone] Hello, Robert? Listen, I can't go. I got stuck babysitting my little brother. Yeah, me too. Well, bye. [hangs up]
Hilary: [enters] Okay. Say, "Charge it."
Ashley: Hilary, Robert canceled on me. And after all your hard work.
Hilary: Oh, that's awful. But look on the bright side. You might have gotten dumped, but you look marvelous. [exits]
Philip: Ashley, where did you learn to lie like that?
Ashley: Mom taught me.

Quote from Will

Carlton: Freeze! Will, what the heck do you think you're doing? You can't drink.
Will: Why not?
Carlton: Because you're underage. It's against the law, mister.
Will: Thank you very much, McGruff, the Crime Dog but this is the law of the jungle. It's chump or be chumped. I know what I'm doing.

Quote from Will

Hank: You happy, chump? Jackie left.
Will: Oh, man, that's really That's a shame. That's a shame because she's going to miss my tribute to you. Excuse me. Ladies and gentlemen I'd like to make a roast to Mr. Stank Barley. Now, listen, listen. This man is an all-American... which don't really matter because we all Americans. No, but seriously, Spanky here got some moves. But, he ain't getting no parts of the scoreboard with my girl Jackie because she can see through a chump like you a mile away. Both of you. Jock itching, wide receiving, love-to-take-the-snap punk. [laughs] Happy Kwanzaa, Crank.

Quote from Will

Jim: Smoke?
Will: No, no, I don't smoke. Hey, you shouldn't either, man. I just gave a health tip to a dead guy.
Jim: Somebody's been hitting the vino.
Will: Oh, it's tequila. I mean, I was just going shot-for-shot with this football clown.
Jim: Oh, drinking contests are Nowheresville. You wanna prove you're a real man, you play chicken. Now, two guys drive towards a cliff. The first one that stops, loses. That's how I got here. I won.
Will: I'm sorry, let's review here: You went flying off a cliff. The guy who didn't is probably laying up under your woman right now... And you're stuck here playing eternal poker with no chips. Nice going, buddy.

Quote from Will

Will: Hey, Billy?
Billy: Who wants to know?
Will: Oh, my name is Will Smith.
Billy: Can you catch?
Will: Oh, yeah, come on, throw it. Let's see what you've got. [catches ball] Oh, some arm you got there, kid.
Billy: I know, I was gonna play shortstop for the Dodgers.
Will: Hey, maybe you still will one day. [Billy shakes his head] Billy, how did you die?
Billy: I was playing ball on the sidewalk. This car jumped the curb, took me out. The driver was drunk. Come on, let's play. [Will takes his car keys into his hands]
Will: No, I'm not feeling so good, Billy. I'm gonna just chill for a minute.

Quote from Will

Carlton: Look, why would you even bother competing with a guy like that?
Will: That dude was trying to play me, man. What was I supposed to do?
Carlton: You could have walked away.
Will: That... I know... The... You know, it's like I was watching myself being stupid but I couldn't do nothing about it. That must be what Chevy Chase felt like.

Quote from Will

Will: Hey, hey! Hey, Jackie! I didn't see you standing in front of the dip.
Hank: Is this guy a friend of yours?
Will: Who wants to know?
[Hank goes over and opens the window]
Crowd: [chanting] Hank, Hank, Hank...
Hank: And you are?
[Will goes over and opens the window]
Crowd: Where's Hank?
Will: If that was a sorority out there they would know what my name was.

Quote from Will

Will: You know, my brother, I was wondering was that the Ohio State game where you fumbled three times?
Hank: Yeah, well, I really shouldn't have tried to play with a broken hand.
Will: Well, I played basketball once without a leg.
Hank: Then that explains why your jokes are so lame.
Will: Hey, now, was that your call, or did the coach send that in?
Jackie: Hey, the testosterone is starting to reach a dangerous level.

Page 2 


 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode