‘You Bet Your Life’
Season 3, Episode 21 - Aired March 1, 1993
When Uncle Phil is too sick to join Will on a road trip to college, Carlton joins him instead and gets hooked on a slot machine at a roadside casino in Nevada.
Quote from Will
Will: Look, look, Carlton. Listen, if you get in the car right now I promise we can sing the theme to West Side Story, okay? You can be Maria.
Quote from Will
Carlton: I just want to play a few more times.
Will: Boy, did you hear what I said? Get your butt in that car right now. Don't you roll your eyes at me.
Carlton: I can't leave now, Will. See, I figured the odds. If I just play 9,063 more times, I know I can beat it.
Will: Wait, Carlton, Carlton, listen. This is what gambling does to you, all right? It's a disease and it's evil. Stop it. Right now.
Carlton: Oh, buzz off, flattop.
Will: Hey, Carlton, I ain't playing with you, man. Get your butt in that car right now!
Carlton: Why don't you just get off my damn back?
Will: Okay, see, now it's on. All right, see, my mother don't talk to me like that. Come on, Jazz, let's go.
Quote from Carlton
Carlton: Could luck be a lady tonight? Tramp. Michael Jackson impression? Only a quarter.
Lola: Here's 50 cents. Now, get out of my face.
Carlton: Cool.
Quote from Carlton
Carlton: I'll draw your portrait for a quarter.
Bo: Yeah!
Carlton: No! That's my money. I've been feeding this machine all night. Those quarters are mine.
Bo: Hey, man, what do you think you're doing?
Carlton: Get out of my way. This is my money.
Bo: I don't like your attitude.
Carlton: Oh, can it, steroid breath.
Bo: What did you say?
Quote from Will
Lola: Come on, Bo, now knock it off. You might break something.
Will: Yeah, like my cousin. Yo, yo, chill. What's up? What's up, man?
Bo: Bigfoot here stole my quarters.
Will: Carlton, I'm just guessing here, but name calling? Bad idea.
Bo: Hey, man, you tore my shirt. My mother bought me this shirt.
Will: And you know, I'm sure she's a really fine woman. But you got plenty of quarters. Why don't you go call your mom, have her send you a new shirt?
Bo: I don't want a new shirt. I want to clean the bar with his face.
Will: I'm saying, my brother, pick on somebody your own size.
Bo: So what are you saying?
Will: Well, I mean, I wasn't suggesting me specifically.
Lola: Bo, now this isn't a fair fight. Any bets?
Jazz: I'll take $5 on the big guy.
Quote from Carlton
Will: I'm saying, ain't nobody going to chump me. I ain't no punk.
Carlton: You know, Will, you don't have to... Look, the time comes when a man has to take responsibility and fight his own battles. [Bo comes out of the bar punching] And I'll let you know when the time comes. Give me $10 on Bo.
Quote from Will
Jazz: Prince, I know how you can take this dude. How good are you at faking seizures?
Will: Thanks for the vote of confidence, Jazz. Look, check it out. Just take the keys, start the engine. I'm going to bite him and jump in the car.
Quote from Will
Bo: Let's get busy. I ain't got all night. Nightline is on in two minutes.
Will: Wait a minute. Can I stretch first, please? Pull a muscle or something out here. Anybody got any kryptonite in the house?
Bo: Yeah, man, that's real funny.
Will: Really? So you're not going to hit me?
Bo: You're not that funny.