Vivian: What did you just do?
Philip: This. [squirts mustard on Vivian's top]
Vivian: Think we can get away with this?
Ashley: I can't believe you two. Mustard is not the answer.
Philip: No, she's right. Get the soy sauce.

Vivian: You know, honey, the color of this sweater does compliment your eyes.
Philip: Well, it is comfy. Let's go get the stains out.
Ashley: These are my role models.

Lisa: Oh, no.
Will: Oh, yes. How you doing there, Little Miss Mood Swing? Give me the keys to the car.
Lisa: Oh, now I'm never gonna get in.
Will: You need to be worried about getting out. Them rubber rooms ain't got no windows.
Lisa: Will, I am not crazy, okay? This whole thing was a sorority prank. They wanted me to teach you a lesson.
Will: In what, bladder control?
Lisa: No, respect for women.
Will: Ugh! I cannot believe you sorority girls could be so devious.
Lisa: It was actually your cousin Carlton's idea.
Will: Oh, yeah? You know what, I'm gonna pop that little zit when I get home. You give me the car keys. Thank you.

Will: What you crying about?
Lisa: You don't care.
Will: You're damn right I don't care. You damn near fricasseed me. [exits; returns] But seriously, though, what you crying about?
Lisa: Will, the only reason I did this is because I wanna be a Kappa.
Will: So I guess that if I don't go through with this thing then you can kiss your pledge pin goodbye. Oh, well. [laughs]
Lisa: I deserve that. Will, I just want you to know that this is the best date that I've had in a long time. I mean, before I tied you up.
Will: Like I'm supposed to believe that. Pfft! [exits; returns] For real?