Vivian: Look, there he goes.
Trevor: [on TV] Hilary Banks...
Hilary: Yes, Trevor?
Trevor: [on TV] Will you marry me? [thud]
[As the TV picture turns to static, the family are stunned into silence]
Will: I ain't no bungee expert or nothing... But I don't think he's supposed to be slamming into the ground like that.
[A title card appears on the TV]
Hilary: "Please stand by"? Great. The president's about to interrupt my marriage proposal.

Hilary: I still can't understand.
Vivian: Sweetheart, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.
Hilary: No, I mean technically. Am I a widow or what? This is all my fault. If I hadn't asked for a special proposal, Trevor would be in my arms instead of in my purse. I love you, Trevor.
Will: Um, Hilary, Trevor wasn't cremated.
Hilary: Ew, then who's this?
Geoffrey: I'll see him to the door, Miss Hilary.

Will: "Roommate wanted. Minutes from school. Must love ice hockey, country-and-western music and Tom Cruise movies." This is worse than Jazz's.

Vivian: Sweetheart, now is the time when you should make use of Reverend Boyd.
Hilary: Is he single?
Vivian: I mean you should be spiritual. After all, Trevor's in heaven now.
Carlton: Right. He's up there with my little dog Scruffy.
Will: Yeah, and the bus he rode in under.
Carlton: Must everything be a joke to you? My sister's in a fragile condition. I'm trying to help her bounce back.
Hilary: Bounce. Trevor bounced.

Will: Excuse me, that's our butts, Carlton. We're in this together.
Carlton: Not anymore, Kemosabe. I'm going back to my family, where I belong.
Will: No, you are not.
Carlton: Oh, yeah? Why?
Will: Because that will be like admitting we can't make it on our own.
Carlton: I don't have to make it on my own. I'm rich.

Hilary: Turn it up. Oh, there's Trevor.
Ashley: It's a bungee jump.
Hilary: Oh! Well, I asked him to propose in a special way, but I never expected a bungee jump. What's a bungee jump?
Will: Well, Hil, he's gonna propose while falling 300 feet on a giant rubber band.
Hilary: Isn't it romantic?

Will: Jazz give me the money.
Jazz: Money? What money?
Will: The 25 dollars a head you charged for my party.
Jazz: Man, I was sneaking the bus back to the depot and I got held up. White dude. He took the bus too.
Will: The money's gone, isn't it?
Jazz: Like the Jheri curl.

Carlton: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. How come he gets the pool house and I'm stuck upstairs with the grieving widow?
Will: Another thing. Keep this person off my property or I'll shoot him.
Carlton: It's my property. I'm gonna inherit it after the big guy takes his bungee jump. Right, big guy?
Philip: Well, he does have a point. I'll tell you what, why don't you two work it out.
Will: Okay, tallest one gets the bedroom.
Carlton: I need the big closet for my peacock suit.
Philip: Oh, it's so nice to have my family back.

Will: Hey, Carlton. Did Mr. Gorodetsky say anything about this building being a landmark or something?
Carlton: No, why?
Will: Because there's a tour bus pulling up on the front lawn.
Jazz: [over loudspeaker] All right, y'all, everybody in rows one through 15 the party's in apartment 206.
Will & Carlton: Jazz!
Jazz: [over loudspeaker] Everybody in rows 16 through 30. And have money in your hands. Senior citizens get a 10-percent discount. I do take tips.
Carlton: So, Will what's on tap for tomorrow?

Hilary: Daddy, how about a November wedding? Nothing extravagant, just 800 of our closest friends and relatives.
Philip: Or maybe we could book the Forum. I'm sure the Lakers will be on the road by then.