Will: We're going to the Golden Choice Music Awards. They got us sitting between Ike and Tina, you know, just in case something flare up.

Vivian: Where is Will? He was supposed to be here at 7.
Hilary: That's it. I'm leaving.
Vivian: Where are you going?
Hilary: Sergei keeps the salon open till 9. I'm gonna see if he can squeeze my head in.

Will: This is the best birthday I ever had. I always wanted to try skiing too.
Michelle Michaels: You did great.
Will: Well, yeah. Except for that one run. I'm just glad that the Saint Bernard didn't have to suffer.

Will: Greetings from Aspen. Oh, let me tell you, what a night. You open up the hot tub and the neighbors come out. You know what I'm saying? I didn't even mind Bruce and Demi, you know. I really didn't mind Arnold and Maria. But Frank and Kathy Lee came over with that little dude Cody. He was making bubbles in the Jacuzzi without the jets on. You know what I'm saying? Nasty little dude, you know.
Carlton: You have got a lot of nerve, Will. Right, big guy?
Philip: Oh, yeah, right, right. Will, this Maria Shriver... full-figured gal?
Vivian: Philip?

Will: Michelle, I got to tell you ever since the barbecue at Wesley Snipes' crib I kind of been wanting to say something to you. I haven't found a way to say it quite yet. But this thing we got going on, I just feel real good about it, you know. And I just... Hey, hey, hey! Hello, who is this?!
Michelle Michaels: Rick Benton. We shot a swimsuit video in Tahiti. This is Will Smith.
Rick: Guy? Michelle, Michelle. You know, you're even more alluring with your clothes on.
Michelle Michaels: [giggles] Isn't he the funniest male model you ever met?
Will: [giggles] Oh, wait a minute. Now I recognize this dude.
Rick: I take it you've seen my calendar, huh?
Will: Yeah, you were the April fool, right?

Will: Look, guy, listen. Michelle is a one-man woman now, all right?
Rick: Oh, really?
Will: Yes, sir. You might be able to tell by this ring she gave me.
Rick: It kind of reminds me of this one right here.
Michelle Michaels: So are we all friends now?
Rick: Oh, yeah. We found out we had a lot in common.
Will: Look, Black Fabio, listen. Why don't you and your Motown-revival haircut go back to your seat, um, shave your chest, shut up and just watch the fight.

Michelle Michaels: Poor Rick. He'll be in the hospital for weeks now.
Will: How did I know he was gonna fall on Sinatra?

Michelle Michaels: Will, I'm no good with relationships. I thought you knew that. Don't you listen to my songs?
Will: Well, yeah, I do. Okay... Why? All right. There's "Untouchable." There's "Never Going To Settle." There's "Wham Bam Goodbye."