Will: Carlton, look, a quarter.
Carlton: Oh, it's mine. It's mine.
Will: You're pathetic.
Carlton: You're right. I've hit rock bottom. How come you can see the quarter and I can't?
Will: Because there ain't no quarter, man. Now get on the phone and call Uncle Phil.
Carlton: Will, it's a sign.
Will: You're an imbecile, but we still have to call Uncle Phil.
Carlton: But you don't understand. It's a dance contest and I'm a dancing machine.

Carlton: Wow, the competition's even stiffer than I thought.
Will: Please. My mom got better moves than that the time her girdle slipped in Church.

Announcer: We're gonna welcome our next contestants all the way from Bel-Air, California. Please welcome Will the Thrill and Boogaloo Shrimp.

Carlton: We were up, we were down, we were all around and suddenly out of nowhere, they just ripped our hearts out.
Will: Look, see, it doesn't matter how many bruises and scars you got. The important thing is you came out of that desert alive, and a man. A very odd little man, but a man.
Carlton: Yeah, I did, didn't I? I just wish we could've won that dance contest. I mean, how dare they give us the booby prize.
Will: Hey look, man, that booby prize paid our way home.
Carlton: Trust me, Will, I will never gamble again.
All: [sing] Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday, dear Carlton Happy birthday to you Okay, son, make a wish.
Nicky: Hey, Carlton, bet you can't blow them all out.
Carlton: Oh, yeah? Well, I got 20 that says I can. Hey, Will, you want some action on this? Come on, I can beat you. I'll blow it out.