Trending ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’ Quotes
Will: Yeah, me neither, man. You know, but what happened was, you know, I was putting together this book. It was called Celebrities' Houses At Night. It's a good concept, right?
Jay Leno: Yeah, great, great. Yeah, terrific idea.
Will: Well, you know, what happened was, you know, I just wanted to show Lisa that I was special, you know? Because I just really don't wanna lose her because I really like her. And, well, you know, the pictures I gave them to the guy, he was supposed to put out my book. And, you know, he winded up putting it in the National Inquisitor. Jay, I never meant for anything bad to happen. I didn't mean for the pictures to be for that. Listen, America, I just want you to know it was not oil, it was coffee. Jay was pouring coffee out. It wasn't oil.
Jay Leno: Right. Well, thank you, Smith, for clearing that up. I appreciate that.
Will: Well, you know, my friends call me Will.
Jay Leno: Thanks a lot, Smith. I really appreciate that.
Will: Thank you.
Jay Leno: Yeah. Actually, that's kind of romantic, I think, though. I think I mean, what you... You are goofy, and you are an idiot. But that's beside the point. It's still kind of a romantic thing. And maybe we should drop the suit. What do you think, audience? [crowd applauds] All right, Will. Okay. You're off the hook.
Will: Thanks a lot, Jay.
Jay Leno: All right, all right.
Will: Hey, who's our next guest?
[Will is thrown out of The Tonight Show studio, a la Jazz]
Philip: What the hell is going on?
Will: Look, um, Uncle Phil, this is not really your concern. You know, it's about me, it's not about you. So don't even worry about it, all right?
Philip: How can you say that? We are leaving town in a day and you don't have a place to live. Why did you lie?
Will: I mean, we sitting around the table and everybody talking about all these great lives and these new things they're doing. I didn't want you to say: "Hey, there's my nephew. Yeah, he's still living in my pool house." I mean, I didn't want you to think that all these years that I've been out here just ain't worth nothing. You know, that you just been wasting your time with me. Look, Uncle Phil, I just don't want you to think that I'm that same stupid kid I was when I first moved out here.
Philip: How could you possibly believe that that's what I'd be thinking? Look at you. You're moving out on your own. You're gonna finish college in a year. You're becoming a man. A man I'm damn proud of.
Will: I just didn't want your last memory of me to be no better than the first one.
Philip: You have no idea what my first memory of you is. I remember a kid loaded with all the potential in the world. And now I see a person on the verge of realizing that potential. Come on, let's go get you an apartment.
Will: Hey, Uncle Phil, um what you mean by verge?
Philip: Don't push your luck.
Philip: I don't get it, Will. Why the job?
Will: I just wanted to pay for the homecoming myself.
Philip: But I gave you a check.
Will: I tore it up.
Will: 'Cause you were right, Uncle Phil. Man, I'm getting soft. I'm a man, and a man should be able to stand on his own two feet make his own way, like you did. I mean, a man does it for himself. I mean, it's a hard road to travel, but after you travel it and you look back on what you accomplished, you can say, "l did that. I'm a man."
Philip: That's the biggest load of bull I've heard since I left the farm. Nobody does anything without help, Will. People opened doors for me, and I've worked hard to open doors for you. It doesn't make you any less of a man to walk through them.
Carlton: And in conclusion, if you follow these steps as I have outlined then I guarantee you'll be successful. [applause] Thank you.
Student #1: You still haven't told us what you do.
Carlton: Well, I was previously in expeditious comestible management. And, um, currently, I'm overseeing a myriad of options.
Student #2: Do you even have a job?
Carlton: Well, strictly speaking, I-
Student #3: He's a bum just like my Uncle Eddie.
Student #4: Excuse me, sir. Are you really a bum?
Carlton: Back off, sister.
Student #1: You got an attitude problem.
Carlton: Damn right I've got attitude. Just wait till you grow up. You'll see how tough it is. There are sharks out there and you're all little guppies waiting to be devoured. Oh, sure, you can lie back in your protective little womb called high school and pretend the world is your oyster. But one day it's gonna turn on you like the rotting milk in your stinking little lunchboxes. Thank you.
Philip: Mr. Smith, could you tell us in your own words what happened?
Will: Yes. Peep this, your J-ship. Me and Jazz were about to cruise down to the mall in the honey wagon, you know, so we can pack it up with some honeys. So, I popped a little Peabo in the Pioneer, checked my pocket for my Binaca. Hey, 'cause, you know, fresh breath can make the difference between getting a honey's number and getting flipped the bird.
Judge Wilson: Honey flipped me the bird at a bus stop this morning. That's the most action I've had in six months. You were saying something, Mr. Smith?
Will: Yes, so, I checked my rear-view mirror and no sooner did I accelerate than out of nowhere the plaintiff, this seer-sucking Brooks Brother over here, came barreling out of nowhere and bashed right into me.
Judge Wilson: Anything else, Mr. Smith?
Will: Yeah, keep hope alive. You are somebody.
Judge Wilson: Thank you.
Will: Yo, man, what's up?
Robert: Oh, man, you caught me. I was trying to surprise you.
Will: Well, when you say "surprise," you don't mean like "l'm driving down a big hill, and all of a sudden: "Surprise! My brakes don't work"?
Robert: You got the same sense of humor as your mom, you know that?
Will: Now, don't be trying to distract me. What you doing to my ride?
Robert: Hey, your mom and I borrowed the car. I saw you needed a water pump, so I picked one up.
Will: Hey, that's pretty decent of you, man.