Philip: Maybe I'll go upstairs to try to cheer up your mother.
Vivian: [o.s.] Ugh! I'm so fat!
Philip: On second thought, I'll call her from the car.

Ashley: Great, now we can finish working on their anniversary surprise.
Carlton: I hope they like this photo album.
Hilary: What's not to like? We got some great family pictures. Oh, look, here's me at the beach. And here's me in my carriage. Oh, look, and here's me at the park.

Will: Uncle Phil, what's up?
Philip: Where is it?
Will: Geoffrey took it, I swear!
Philip: Oh, my God, your Aunt Vivian's going to kill me.
Will: Uncle Phil, look, you're winning a lot of points with this second wedding thing. I'm sure whatever it is, she can handle it.
Philip: I lost my wedding ring.
Will: So, where shall we scatter the ashes?

Will: Jazz, come here, man. Look, this is not the right time to mess with Uncle Phil. He lost something really important.
Jazz: Geoffrey took it. I swear.
Philip: Look, kids, you look down here. I'm going to look for the ring upstairs.
Carlton: Give it up, big guy, we've already looked everywhere.
Philip: I'll give $100 to the first one who finds it.
Carlton: Now you're talking.

Minister: We're gathered here today to renew the vows of holy matrimony which is commended...
Geoffrey: [sobs]
Jazz: I didn't know you were so sentimental.
Geoffrey: I'm not. It's just, always a bridesmaid, never a bride.