Will: Look, man, I don't have the problem, alright? You have the problem. I remind you of where you came from and what you used to be. Now, I don't know, somewhere between Princeton or the office, you got soft. You forgot who you are and where you came from.
Philip: You think you're so wise. [Will turns away] Look at me when I'm talking to you. Let me tell you something, son. I grew up on the streets just like you. I encountered bigotry you could not imagine. Now, you have a nice poster of Malcolm X on your wall. I heard the brother speak. I read every word he wrote. Believe me, I know where I come from.
Will: You actually heard Malcolm speak, man?
Philip: That's right. So before you criticize somebody, you find out what he's all about.

Vivian: Sweetie, would you say grace, please?
Ashley: Yes, Mommy. [clears throat] ''Hey, there, Lord My name is Ashley Banks My family and friends Want to give you some thanks So before this dinner's All swallowed and chewed Thank you, God, for this stupid food''

Hilary: Anyway, Bruce, Demi and I all feel that the ozone layer must be protected. I mean, every square foot of rain forest that's cut down brings us just one step closer to global warming. We have to learn to protect the earth. Not just for ourselves and not just for our children but for the future of all mankind.
Woman: Oh, I had no idea it was such a serious problem. I really commend you for getting involved in such a good cause.
Hilary: Thanks. It's my passion.
Woman: Where can I send a donation?
Hilary: [scoffs] I don't know.

Will: You know, you should try rapping. When you're rapping, you mess up the words and make up some new ones right there on the spot. So let's try this. I'll sing one line, you make up a line to rhyme it.
Ashley: Okay.
Will: All right. Let's see. ''You didn't get into Miss Berkley's chorus''...
Ashley: [silent] I'm thinking, all right?
Will: That's all right. We got all day.
Ashley: Okay, I've got it.
Will: Here we go. ''You didn't get into Miss Berkley's chorus''
Ashley: ''I'd like to hit her in the head with Roget's Thesaurus''
Will: Yeah. ''Don't need no choir when you're a rapper''
Ashley: ''Gonna hunt Miss Berkley down and zap her''
Will: ''Got this whole town of Bel-Air buzzing''
Ashley: ''Get a load of me and my rapping cousin''

Will: Hey, look who's here. Benson.
Geoffrey: This is for you.
Will: But I didn't get you anything.
Geoffrey: Your uncle has invited several of the partners from his law firm to dinner. At the time of the invitation, he did not realize you'd be descending upon him today. And regrettably, it was too late to cancel.
Will: Yo, are we having a party? So we're gonna get stupid, right?
Geoffrey: For some of us, that will require very little effort indeed.

Will: Hey, Geoffrey, home butler. I am glad to see you, man.
Geoffrey: It is a special thrill for me as well.
Will: Yo, check this out. I'm gonna be down here for a while. Why don't you hop on in the kitchen and get me some cocoa?
Geoffrey: Master William, while it is my natural inclination to accede to your every demand, I officially go off duty at 9:00 p.m. And if you care to look at your watch, you will note that the long hand is on 12, and the short hand is on 9. It is 9:00, Master William. And do you know what that means? Masterpiece Theatre is on.

Carlton: That's a really neat tux, isn't it, Will?
Will: Oh, yes. It's definitely the cat's meow.
Carlton: Wait till we come downstairs in those tuxes. People may not think we're twins, but I bet they'll think we're brothers.
Will: You know, I don't think you have to worry about anybody mistaking you for a brother.
Carlton: Touche.

Geoffrey: Come with me, Master William.
Will: Yo, yo, yo, G. Let me rap to you for a second. All this Master William stuff, I'm not down with that, man. Make it sound like we're back on the plantation, like: ''Massa William! Massa William!'' Let's come up with something better that you could call me.
Geoffrey: What would you prefer?
Will: Check this: ''His Royal Freshness.'' That's dope.
Geoffrey: Master William, walk this way.
Will: [chuckles] No.

Philip: Did you see the way he was dressed?
Vivian: What's wrong with it?
Philip: You hear that language?
Vivian: Oh, we used slang when we were kids. Do you remember our first date? You took one look at me and said: ''That is a bad dress.'' Now, you could've just said it was a good dress.
Philip: I could have, if I liked it. Actually, it was a bad dress.
Vivian: That's stupid. Now, take it for whatever meaning you want.

Hilary: Okay, like, I'm going on the Save the Ozone celebrity bus next Saturday. It's gonna be Bruce Willis and Demi, Rob Lowe, Emilio Estevez or Charlie Sheen, I can't remember which. We're gonna take the bus all over town to protest air pollution and then we're gonna motor to the beach and have a big bonfire. [Will raises his hand] What?
Will: I'm not an expert or anything, but don't you think driving a big old bus around town and then having a bonfire is sort of adding to the problem of pollution? What do you think? I don't know...
Hilary: Look, if this weren't a good idea I really, really don't think Ally Sheedy would be involved.