‘Stress Related’
Season 6, Episode 3 - Aired October 2, 1995
Hilary is sick before a big meeting with a potential sponsor, so Will decides to take the initiative and get her some medicine. Meanwhile, Uncle Phil needs to get through jury selection to speak at Ashley's school, Carlton is hoping for a job at a bank, and Aunt Viv decides the family needs to start eating healthy.
Quote from Philip
Philip: Mr. Jackson, why do you think you'd make a good juror?
Man: Because I could always tell if someone was guilty just by looking at them.
Philip: Sir, even I can't tell by looking.
Man: And they let you be a judge.
Quote from Geoffrey
Vivian: There. Finally, this family's gonna start eating healthy. What do you think?
Geoffrey: I think it's too good to be wasted on the hired help.
Quote from Will
Will: Carlton, what are you doing, man? Carlton!
Philip: What is going on here?
Carlton: I got my job interview in a half hour at the bank and Will's wearing my argyles.
Will: Carlton, get off. Get off, man. You want your stupid socks back you can have them. Probably ain't gonna help my foot fungus anyway.
Carlton: Keep them.
Vivian: Morning, Ashley. Good morning.
Ashley: Has anyone seen my black leotard? [everyone looks to Will]
Will: That ain't funny.
Quote from Will
Will: Wait, wait. Hold up. Hold up. Hold up, Ashley. Y'all having a Career Day? I mean, why you ain't asked me? I'm sure all the kids at school wanna know what an assistant talent coordinator does.
Ashley: Well, what do they do?
Will: What do they do? Pfft. I'm gonna get back to you on that, Ash, a'ight?
Quote from Philip
Ashley: Hey, Daddy, how's the jury selection going?
Philip: Oh, it's exhausting. We're still four jurors short and I don't know if...
Ashley: This isn't gonna keep you from coming to school?
Philip: Well, if we don't find them, we'll just go with whatever we have.
Philip: Geoffrey, make me a sandwich.
Geoffrey: May I remind you, sir-
Philip: No, you may not. Just make me a sandwich.
Geoffrey: As you wish, sir.
Quote from Carlton
Philip: Hey, Will. How did your first day go?
Will: Oh, it was great, Uncle Phil. Listen, after I got finished changing light bulbs and moving boxes they gave me something important to do. I moved a big box.
Carlton: Well, that's the problem with menial jobs, Will. You're completely at the mercy of someone else's whims. Now, if you'd have taken a more executive corporate-like endeavor, such as myself then you'd be your own man. Not sitting around like some puppet waiting to be beckoned. [phone rings] That's them. That's them.
[answers phone] Hello? No. She's not here right now. She'll call you tomorrow. [hangs up] Ashley, call Felicia tomorrow.
Ashley: What did you do that for?
Carlton: I need to keep the line clear.
Quote from Will
Will: Man, Aunt Viv got skills. Hey, look, Uncle Phil, what do you say we slide down to Mickey D's before she clean them out too.
Philip: Initiative.
Will: Yes, sir.
Quote from Philip
Philip: So do you think that you could render an impartial verdict in accordance with the law?
Woman: Oh, I know I can. I must. I've been ordered to.
Philip: Ordered? By whom?
Woman: Alex Trebek.
Quote from Hilary
Hilary: Hello? Aren't I the patient? Shouldn't I be getting all the attention?
Quote from Carlton
Carlton: I knew that's why they didn't call. Geoffrey, I told you no calls.
Geoffrey: Master Carlton, I was just-
Carlton: Damn you and your excuses.
Vivian: Sit down and relax.
Carlton: You're right. Geoffrey, I'm sorry. [phone rings] Touch that and you'll be on the first thing smoking back to London.