Mrs. Bassin: Now what was Antonio Vivaldi trying to tell us in this concerto?
Will: [to a girl] Come on, baby, I'm saying, "Bing-bang- bluesy, me and you in the Jacuzzi." What's up?
Mrs. Bassin: Mr. Smith. The concerto? What was Vivaldi saying?
Will: Well, actually, Mrs. Bassin, I'm glad you asked me that. [clears throats] Vivaldi, or "Vival Dee" as it is pronounced in some European circles, I believe he was commenting on man's inhumanity toward man. That we, citizens of America, the richest country on this planet, have a moral obligation that goes far beyond buying the newest car or purchasing the latest Naughty By Nature CD. If one child goes hungry, we must feed it. If one child shivers, we must shelter it. And I, for one believe the brother knew what he was talking about.
Mrs. Bassin: Vivaldi died in 1741 before there was a United States.
Will: But the dream is alive.

Carlton: Guess what? I'm the class valedictorian.
Hilary: Oh. [hugs Carlton] What does that mean?
Will: I believe it's Latin for "little short midget with a square head."

Will: Mrs. Bassin, I'm sorry, I was acting silly today. I'll make it up tomorrow.
Mrs. Bassin: Eh, too little too late. Will, I'm going to have to fail you.
Will: Ooh, ooh. Whoa, whoa. The "F" word. Why?
Mrs. Bassin: You missed half the semester.
Will: What's your point?
Mrs. Bassin: Will, you have 10 classes to make up and only five before graduation.
Will: Listen, Mrs. Bassin, I'm telling you, I'll make up the work. Come on, I have to graduate.
Mrs. Bassin: I'm sorry, but you have no one to blame but yourself.
Will: Listen, Mrs. Bassin, I don't think you understand. My Mom is flying out from Philly to see me graduate. I mean, the woman that gave me life. And if I don't graduate, she'll take it back.

Ashley: Daddy, can we take Nicky with us to graduation?
Philip: No, I don't think so, sweetheart. But maybe Geoffrey can baby-sit for him.
Geoffrey: Of course, sir. And, no, I wouldn't mind missing the ceremony. Why should I be invited to such an illustrious event after a mere 15 years of wiping, picking and sucking up after you all?
Philip: Geoffrey, we would love for you to come to graduation with us.
Geoffrey: I'll have to check my book.
Philip: Geoffrey, you're coming.

Will: Please give me another chance. Please? Come on.
Mrs. Bassin: All right, be here tomorrow at 5:00.
Will: Yes-
Mrs. Bassin: But no promises.
Will: Thanks a lot, Mrs. Bassin. Wait a minute. Batman comes on at 5:00. Can we make it at 6:30? I'm joking. I'm stupid. I'm stupid.
Mrs. Bassin: I know.

Philip: Please! What do you know about taking care of babies?
Jazz: Babies? I'm here to take care of Hilary.
[Uncle Phil throws Jazz out of the house]

Ashley: Aren't you afraid you're going to mess up?
Carlton: Not a problem.
Ashley: Well, I'd be worried.
Hilary: Yeah, every kid hoping you make a fool of yourself, every parent wondering what you're doing up at the podium and why you're sweating so much? Ew.
Will: Yo, C, come on, man, you ain't got to worry about none of that. But I would worry about slipping off them stack of phone books you going to be standing on.

Mrs. Bassin: Okay, now, before we start our scales can anyone tell me what "pizzicato" means? Mr. Smith?
Will: Mr. Smith? You got all these... Um, sure... Pizzicato, that's a pizza with avocado. [laughs] Get it, I said, it's a pizza...
Mrs. Bassin: Michael.
Michael: Pizzicato: A term indicating that strings should be plucked, not bowed.
Will: Oh, yeah? Well, there ain't no Santa Claus.

Will: G, I am this close to not graduating, man. I think my music teacher has got it out for me. She's trying to force me to make up 10 hours. Come on, it ain't like I got a future in music or nothing.

Mrs. Bassin: Today for your listening pleasure let us welcome the Little Rays of Sunshine.
Woman: That's my Jessie, the one with the braids.
Jazz: That's my Will, the one with the mustache.