‘Same Game, Next Season’
Season 5, Episode 12 - Aired December 12, 1994
When Will tries to impress Lisa's father, Fred (John Amos), he gets more than he bargained for. Meanwhile, Uncle Phil considers early retirement, prompting his kids to worry about the family finances.
Quote from Hilary
Ashley: Maybe Daddy's password is some kind of food.
Carlton: Look, I tried every dish in Geoffrey's cookbook, nothing works.
Hilary: Unbelievable. What kind of idiot picks a password no one can guess?
Carlton: See, it's that kind of question that knocks you out of the running... for Dad's favorite. Just keep a lookout.
Quote from Carlton
Hilary: Where did you learn to do this?
Carlton: The Young Republicans sponsored a seminar. Ah, open sesame.
Hilary: Oh, my God, it's full of gold bars. [giggles]
Carlton: Those are Twinkies.
Quote from Geoffrey
Geoffrey: Well, I see someone's coming into money.
Ashley: Geoffrey, we weren't taking any money.
Geoffrey: I meant me.
Carlton: All right, Geoffrey, what's it gonna cost to keep you quiet?
Geoffrey: Well, considering the magnitude of this betrayal of your father's trust... I'd say a thousand dollars.
Carlton: Well, that's cool, we can handle that. No problem.
Geoffrey: A week. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to wash some dirty laundry.
Carlton: He has no scruples.
Hilary: Shut up and close the safe.
Quote from Will
Hilary: Daddy, how can you even think about retiring early? I'm in middle of a holiday shopping season. Are you mad?
Philip: I simply said I was considering it.
Ashley: I hope you do retire, that way you can spend more time around the house.
Carlton: He's here plenty. You can't do this, big guy. Money, we need money.
Philip: Carlton, you know we can afford this. You're the one who helped me invest. My money makes money. We're rich.
Carlton: That's right, we are rich.
Hilary: Never thought about it like that.
Will: If we're so rich... why we can't afford no ceiling? [the camera pans up to reveal the stage lighting]
Quote from Philip
Philip: Oh, I remember the first time I met Vivian's father. He was an obstinate, dictatorial old tightwad. We didn't get along at all.
Will: Really? Even with all that in common?
Philip: I'm serious, Will. Wasn't till the day he died that he did something to improve the situation.
Will: Really? What did he do?
Philip: He died.
Quote from Lisa
Will: Stop worrying, go to work, and I will handle your father.
Lisa: Will, you don't know my father. He's very overprotective. The last time one of my boyfriends spent an evening with him... it ended our relationship.
Will: So, what? You never saw the guy again?
Lisa: No, no one did. He left town. At least that's what my dad told the police.
Will: I think you're exaggerating a little bit.
Lisa: Okay, maybe a little. But, just in case... it's been really nice knowing you.
Quote from Philip
Philip: But the point is, first impressions can last forever. So you be careful tonight.
Will: No, don't worry about me, I'm gonna just be myself. Let the charm take care of it for me.
Philip: Now, Will, I don't think that's such a good idea. You see, your charm is kind of an acquired taste. Like liver.
Will: What you talking about? Man, you hate liver.
Will: So, what? What, are you saying I shouldn't be myself?
Philip: Oh, let me just leave you alone with your thoughts, huh?
Quote from Ashley
Ashley: Guys, we have to do something about Dad.
Hilary: Listen, I've tried, but he likes that shirt.
Ashley: No, I mean we have to try to discourage this whole early retirement thing.
Carlton: I thought you were all for it.
Ashley: I was, but I've been thinking, if Dad has more time around the house... I'm the one he's gonna be spending it with.
Carlton: Why you?
Ashley: I'm his favorite.
Hilary: His favorite what?
Ashley: His favorite child, his little girl. I thought it was obvious.
Quote from Hilary
Carlton: Well, think again, little sister. You are not Dad's favorite.
Hilary: That's right, Ashley, I am.
Carlton: You? Pfft!
Hilary: Hey, it's a known fact that the oldest is always the favorite. Mom and Dad got it right the first time.
Ashley: Then why did they keep trying?
Carlton: Well, you're both wrong. It's me. [Ashley & Hilary laugh] Wait, wait, wait, you cost Dad money. I make Dad money. And Daddy's little girl doesn't mean beans next to a chip off the old block... which is me.
Ashley: And Nicky.
Hilary: Nicky's only been around a few years, Daddy hardly knows him. It's me.
Quote from Will
Will: Hey, listen, Mr. Wilkes, I want you to order anything that you want. Price is no object.
Fred: Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first six times.
Will: Oh. Wow. You know, they're known for their lemon soup.
Waitress: Uh, sir, that's a finger bowl.
Will: Oh, my fault, my fault. [lifts bowl up and sips the soup] Excellent.
Fred: You know, Will, I don't know about this place. See, I'm more of a pizza guy.
Will: Oh, well, they got pizza. What do you want on it? What, a tandoori duck? Grilled pheasant?
Fred: For 24 bucks, I want a 20-dollar bill on it.
Will: [laughing] He said... That is so... It was fu...